Description: due to the feedback i have received, i have decided to name this officially UNTITLED - i thing it works best under that title and anything else might just give the wrong impression to readers... thanks for all the great feedback, it really helped
- this is an older write (from '03 - i have only been writing seriously since late '03) and it was originally an AIM away message... but that isnt really all that important... just let me know what you think...
As far as the poem goes I, for some reason, love those short catchy poems that are really well written, this is definitely one of them. I think maybe it could be a few lines longer but then if I think about it I am not sure any way. As far as title I know I have a really hard time naming some of mine. Once I had a poem for three years then one day it just hit me and the title inspired me to add on to the poem. I do kind of like the idea of “Lost in a Lost World” or some variation would be kind of neat. Also you might try some thing like “The Untitled” since it is sort of dealing with being devoid of identity. Any way I do not have any real complaints with the piece, I rather liked it.
Exactly. "Lost in a lost world and no one is looking for me." No one is looking for me either. Life is far too complicated for being so simple. I try to be what I am but no body understands that even simply being can be hard. All the things that twirl around in a person's mind can eventually make them num and then it's just a matter of time. A race between wether someone will or can help you and deciding to escape your living death by actual death. Your poem is good writing. Even though it isn't very many words it speaks volumes. Maybe it doesn't really mean what I got from it but the words mean that to me and I thank you for sharing it. ~Sam~ P.S. I think the title should be Everything, because even though it is a statement of nothingness. That nothingness is the cage in which everything dwells.
Well, i think what u are describing here is nothing, that would be a good tittle i think...Nothing. You are describing someone that is after something essential for it's fulfillment, he/she needs something to be complete but cannot find it... a neverending search for what we need to let us be... very well done... Caio
It's very thought provoking. I know how it feel s to be lost like that. Why would anyone look for a 'poet without prose' or a 'philosopher without thoughts'? I guess people in such a situation will just have to find themselves.
It the feelings is really lost all the way through, and I like that. Many 'lost' poems only say it, they don't show it. I also like the fact that it's lyrical, but not long.
Gorgeous work, I really love it :) The Starless Knight
This is a very good thought provoking poem you have here. Makes me stop and say Hmmm...?? Maybe you are just a dreamer, dreaming of being all these things yet in reality you are not. Perhaps the irony here is the key. Maybe you could title this one "ironic" or "expressions" or something like that. Maybe you are implying you are searching for yourself and have not found you yet? hee hee! I like this short little write. Very good. Take care.
Had to comment on this one. The paradoxes create an environment where the reader comes to a dilema; is the writer really all the things he declares himself to be, but without the direction or inspiration required to continue being these things? Or is the prose simply an attempt to point out that the writer never has been these things, but seeks some way to discover the means to which he can attain them? Is he, or has he ever been, a real philosopher? Or does he simply wish he could be one so that he may be able to overcome the empty thoughts that surround him? Of course, I don't know what it means. But I do like the fact that so few lines of prose forces me to expand my mind in order to concieve all the possibilities implied. Nice job.