Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Utopia Miragedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kase
    ASL Info:    27, Winnipeg
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169/398/234
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 660



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUtopia Miragedots
    -------------------------------------------


    a place so divine that death smells of wine
    fortunate enough that good and evil intertwine
    suns wont set and moon-light shines
    emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries

    heaven is in reach and drunks will walk straight lines
    everyone is suitable for an intellectual mind
    those who are un-social can comfortably unwind
    while negative temptations are easily declined

    no incorrect suggestions are moronicly implyed
    those who are afraid no longer have to hide
    predominantly happiness is no longer hard to find
    but unfortunately utopias are only made of lies




    Submitted on 2005-12-06 15:05:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a place so divine that death smells of wine
    fortunate enough that good and evil intertwine
    suns wont set and moon-light shines
    emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries

    I love seeing the opposing sides in this.
    | Posted on 2013-10-09 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      crunching endingwhich kinda brought me down from my euphoric hight, great diction and use of english...the metre was a bit lost here and there, i tend to be a syllable counter being a rapper but this was a great design...thanks for the journey
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a poem. It really explains a world that ideal. lol I agree with Kane Utopia's are a lie! lol. Well anyway good poem and good word choice. You might want to try putting in ' <- (whatever those are called lol I'm an idiot) just to make your poem look nicer and easier to read. Other than that though you did a good job! Congrats. Teh evil bunnies approve >:3

    -Rice-
    =====
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Razing_Fire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really kool, except this line : "emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries" and the last stanza, they dont seem to fit. other than that, really good job, Utopia's are a lie lol


    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      I WISH I WAS THEIR WITH YOU IN YOUR MIND I LOVE THIS PICE SO GREAT YOU ARE MAGIC WITH WORDS THIS IS GOING TO MY FAVS LIST

    XOXO
    THAT GIRL
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    83537

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry