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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Utopia Miragedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kase
    ASL Info:    27, Winnipeg
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169/398/234
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1042
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 660



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUtopia Miragedots
    -------------------------------------------


    a place so divine that death smells of wine
    fortunate enough that good and evil intertwine
    suns wont set and moon-light shines
    emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries

    heaven is in reach and drunks will walk straight lines
    everyone is suitable for an intellectual mind
    those who are un-social can comfortably unwind
    while negative temptations are easily declined

    no incorrect suggestions are moronicly implyed
    those who are afraid no longer have to hide
    predominantly happiness is no longer hard to find
    but unfortunately utopias are only made of lies




    Submitted on 2005-12-06 15:05:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a place so divine that death smells of wine
    fortunate enough that good and evil intertwine
    suns wont set and moon-light shines
    emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries

    I love seeing the opposing sides in this.
    | Posted on 2013-10-09 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      crunching endingwhich kinda brought me down from my euphoric hight, great diction and use of english...the metre was a bit lost here and there, i tend to be a syllable counter being a rapper but this was a great design...thanks for the journey
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a poem. It really explains a world that ideal. lol I agree with Kane Utopia's are a lie! lol. Well anyway good poem and good word choice. You might want to try putting in ' <- (whatever those are called lol I'm an idiot) just to make your poem look nicer and easier to read. Other than that though you did a good job! Congrats. Teh evil bunnies approve >:3

    -Rice-
    =====
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Razing_Fire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really kool, except this line : "emotional downs end with sighs, instead of painful cries" and the last stanza, they dont seem to fit. other than that, really good job, Utopia's are a lie lol


    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      I WISH I WAS THEIR WITH YOU IN YOUR MIND I LOVE THIS PICE SO GREAT YOU ARE MAGIC WITH WORDS THIS IS GOING TO MY FAVS LIST

    XOXO
    THAT GIRL
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]


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