Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Unprotected Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stormyskies
    ASL Info:    35 f melb Aust
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 979/835/232
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 542



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnprotected Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart I gave
    in a golden box.
    Left unpadded,
    remaining unlocked.

    No protection
    as it lay raw.
    It wasnt enough
    you wanted more.

    Trusting you to
    handle with care.
    Instead it was ripped
    to pieces, as it lay there.

    No encouragement
    no support.
    You gave up,
    where you could have fought.

    Not only once
    or just twice.
    You regret it now
    this time, your final demise.





    Submitted on 2005-12-06 15:18:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Pain and anger are powerful emotions. Thank God we can express them in writing. I to have been through this. I have turned into a cold person when my heart is on the line. It's wierd I can feel other peoples sadness and cry for them and their loss, but not for my own. I think that this was well written and emotional.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by vonnie | [ Reply to This ]
      I admire your strength, you are not only my sister but you are my mentor (sp). You have a determination that I could only wish for. To me this poem shows that determination to move on and mend your heart, which from the outside I wouldn't have guessed it wqas broken but I guess I am close to you so I know a bit more, but through this poem you showed the emotion and how much it hurts when the person you thought you loved tears your heart to shreds
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Stormy, I gotta be honest, I thought you ran out of steam after the first three stanzas, it was great till s4.

    It may be just me, but 4 and 5 are sort of not part of the plot in some way...dunno, I may be just being silly. I like the idea behind it...I guess ask yourself: are you happy with it?

    Sorry I can't be more helpful with this one

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very powerful write
    You show your strength and fortitude in this write by refusing to give up
    I admire that!
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Thank You for the recent comments
    I always enjoy hearing from you
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.