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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: from autumn to winterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ertha
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 124/135/24
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 803



    Description:
       another of those repeating thingys
    I have made some more adjustments to the words to improve the rhythm


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfrom autumn to winterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    December loiters by the open gate
    Along the country lane old winter waits
    But in the garden, Autumn isn't done
    And russet apples bask in golden sun

    The leaves, autumnal dancers, stay till late
    December loiters by the open gate
    The pears and pomegranates softly thud,
    And fall from windblown trees to waiting mud.

    While trails of smoke from afternoon's log fires
    Entwine the rambling rose; caress the briars.
    December loiters by the open gate
    Its shroud, a swirl of cloudy blue and slate.

    In smoky cloaks, the seasons come to play
    Outside of time, on this enchanted day,
    While tardy winter takes its cue from fate,
    December loiters by the open gate.





    Submitted on 2005-12-06 18:57:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So winter is inevitable, then? And playful autumn hasn't paid attention to the time, perhaps too busy enjoying an Indian summer of its own making? I see time portrayed as a gentle visitor about to make its presence known in the form of another cycle of seasons, with winter waiting in the wings to close the drama of another year. Very nice form and word choice, a vehicle befitting the elegant subject matter you've chosen to immortalize in this post. Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I really like this poem. Very nicely written and expressed and I love how you have taken the first line and moved it down one line in each stanza until finally it is the ending to this poem. Very well done! I like the imagery here as well as you speak of the autumn and winter as it approaches but how autumn still lingers on as long as it can until ultimately fate wins and winter arrives. Very well written and expressed. Nice seasonal poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the dances within the scene, for that is truly what a season is about. It seemed a chase between a playful autmun and an old-wise winter. Don't think of it as just another repeat thing. Those are normally the best sounding poems:)And russet apple bask in the golden sun. I liked it.
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
      I just love the autumn too, and do you know what I miss the most?
    No you don't, so I'll have to tell you!
    Its making homemade apple butter in that big old copper kettle I have that belonged to my grandparents.
    About the same time of the year that you have described in the poem. apples falling and winter is softly blowing his horn saying I'm just over the far hill.
    The smell of wood smoke from the fireplace, frosty windows and tripple blankets on the bed with a big brick wrapped in cloth under your feet.
    Welcome Home!
    And thanks for taking me along for the ride.
    That was a wonderful trip.
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love winter it is my favorite season but there is something very peaceful and almost mystical about autumn. The poem I think really shows that apprehension of the coming times and the inability of autumn to let the leaves fall.
    The poem was very well written but the first stanza does not really rhyme very well. In fact I did not realize the poem rhymed until the thud and mud part. The rest flowed magically, if that is possible I guess, and ended rather nicely,

    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by SonAsylum | [ Reply to This ]


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