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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Improvisationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 297



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImprovisationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I first saw you
    it was like kissing fire.
    My whole life turned to dust.
    My eyes were raw from your gaze.
    There is something in me you create:
    there is something you destroy.
    I feel as original
    as the first cell of life.




    Submitted on 2004-01-16 11:45:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem as it is. I think it takes great skill to make a great short poem and I feel you have done that time and again. Sometimes statements that are common work wonderfully, especially when they are linked to a more original thought or way of using them - as in the first two lines. "it was like kissing fire" may not be that original of a line, but when it's used to describe how you felt when you first saw someone (vision, not touch), I think it creates a different kind of originality.

    I also like these lines....

    "my eyes were raw from your gaze"
    "I feel as original as the first cell of life" (my personal favorite)
    What a great way to end the poem.
    | Posted on 2004-01-18 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      "kissing fire" i believe is the best phrase, gives such a great image.
    | Posted on 2004-01-16 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]


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