I never really took the time to sit and stare at the stars before. I don’t think anyone does anymore really. That’s pretty sad if you think about it. There is so much in this world that we as humans take for granted, and it’s always the little things. I’m talking about things like clear skies at night, the first snow of the season, or even quiet solitude. These thoughts run through my mind on the drive home. It’s been a long day in a dead-end job. I seriously think I should quit.
“What the Hell?!” I slam on the brakes and swerve to the shoulder of the highway. Thank God no one else is on the road.
“Did you miss me?”
It’s not real. It’s not real. Just keep telling yourself it’s not real and it will go away.
“Ah, come on. I disappear for a little while and you assume I was nothing more than a bad dream? Come, now. That would be way too easy. You know I’m better than that.”
I have to clear my head. I get off on the next exit and pull into an empty lot. Take a breather, man. It’s all in your head.
“Damn right I’m in your head, or should I say, our head. At least for the time being.”
Clear your head. Clear your head. He’s not real. It’s all your imagination.
“Then why do you fight so much?”
Don’t talk to him. Fight it. Fight it, damn it.
“Why? Why do you fight? What if all I want to do is talk?”
It’s not real. He’s not real. Come on, fight it.
“You automatically assume that when I’m around, bad things happen. Why do you hurt yourself? Actually, keep it up. It’s pretty funny.”
Fight him. Fight back the tears. Fight back the pain. Fight him.
“Would you just shut up for a second and listen to what I have to say?”
“About time. Damn it, boy. Can’t you say ‘hi’ to an old friend?”
“What do you want?”
“Well, now that you’re done ignoring me, I come here on behalf of a higher being. Actually, I come here on behalf of the higher being.”
“You expect me to believe that? You know I’m not that stupid.”
“True, but you are that manipulative. That’s why we choose you.”
“Why would God ask you to do something? Honestly, I’m amazed you still exist for lying about Him.”
“Evidently, I’m not lying, am I?”
“… I suppose you’re right then, aren’t you?”
“When have I not been? Besides, I’m not dumb enough to lie about Him. Despite what you might think, I’d rather be in Hell than nonexistent.”
“Then what do you want with me?”
“Not much, really. We’re only asking you to prevent a possible apocalypse from occurring. You do care about humanity, right?”
“… I hate it when you do that. Why me?”
“You’re the only one still alive that can, and is willing to, carry out His will.”
“Actually, no, he’s telling the truth.”
“About time you got here. What took you so long?”
“Wait, he’s telling the truth?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Why would God send him? He’s has no place talking to Him.”
“On the contrary, I have as much right as either of you.”
“Indeed he does. Of course, God wouldn’t talk to him unless there was a damn good reason. And this, this is a damn good reason.”
“What? What is it?”
“I’m going to cut straight to the point. Now, what you’re going to hear is going to be very unsettling, and I know you’re going to say ‘no’ right away, but please take what I say into consideration.”
“That sounds somehow familiar.”
“Shut it, smartass. This is serious.”
“Please, just hear him out.”
“… I’m listening.”
“Thank you. Look, this is going to sound a bit complicated. Try to follow.”
“Just spit it out.”
“… I swear to God I’m going to beat your ass as soon as I take over.”
“With an attitude like that, I don’t think it’s worth listening to what you have to say.”
“Both of you stop! Look, here’s the deal. The Spirit of Evil is growing weak. As you know, he is dependant upon the souls of sinners around the world to stay alive. Unfortunately, there’s been a dry spell in the number of damned souls, what with more and more people seeking religion for the answers.”
“… What does this got to do with me?”
“We need you to help with the purging of sinners from this world.”
“We need you to help with the purging of sinners from this world.”
“We need you to…”
“What he’s saying is that we need to you kill a few sinners before they find salvation.”
“What?! I can’t do that! No, I won’t do it! I am not killing anyone!”
“Why not? You’ve done it before.”
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!”
“Look. Like it or not, you have to do it. If you don’t, then I’m sure you’re not going to like the consequences.”
“He’s right. We can’t let that happen.”
“We can’t let what happen?”
“If the Spirit doesn’t find enough souls to feed upon, it will be forced to hunt. This would mean that he would break through to this plane of existence and start devouring the souls of countless people around the world. We can’t let that happen.”
“As great as that sounds, he’s right. We can’t let it happen. If Satan breaks through, God’s armies will bring the fight to him. Armageddon would ensue, followed by the destruction of existence as we know it. As much as I would love to see a few more fallen angels, I would also like to be able to mess with your head for a few more years.”
“It’s a tough decision. I know. Death is never an easy thing to cope with, especially when it comes down to murder.”
“We’re not talking about murder here. We’re talking about me going on a killing spree. You’re damn right it’s a hard decision. If I do this, then I’ll have to put up with the knowledge that I sent many people to their death well before their time, but on the other had, I’ll be preventing the death of all humanity.”
“If it makes you feel any better, you’ll only be killing the bad guys. You know, thieves, rapists, murderers…”
“But that would make me a murderer as well, so I would have to eventually kill myself.”
“That’s a risk I’m more than willing to take.”
“You can’t be serious. You both can’t be serious. You want me to go around killing people so that evil may flourish?”
“I know it hard to understand, but it’s necessary. Consider it more of a spiritual cleansing of others. In the end, you’ll be doing more good than evil, and all will be forgiven. Let’s face it. Sometimes, you have to get your hands dirty to clean the world up a little.”
“You’re forgetting one thing. This is murder we’re talking about. M-U-R-D-E-R! That’s slightly illegal. Either way, I’m looking at death, either by society or by someone that decides to fight back. You talk like it’s going to be such an easy thing, but you’re forgetting the most important element of this equation: the human factor.”
“What, that all humans fear change? That they will not accept death because it would change their entire plan for life? You forget that humans learn to accept the inevitable, and death is inevitable. It’s all a part of life, and humans will all meet their time. Some will meet it sooner than others.”
“You can’t be serious! I thought you discouraged violence.”
“Him, discourage violence? Yeah, right, and I’m a seraph.”
“He spent the past few centuries killing people for a living. Whether it was bounty hunting or merely for pleasure, he, by no means, discourages violence.”
“Now hold on a second, I do not kill for pleasure.”
“You know what I meant.”
“You… you kill?
“Indeed, I have in the past. I traveled far and wide across Europe and Asia, slaying man and beast alike by request.”
“Request? You went about collecting bounties by abusing your powers.”
“True as that may be, that’s in the past. What matters now is the task at hand. The fate of humanity, unfortunately, rests upon your shoulders. You must accept that.”
“Even if I do, how am I going to do it? How am I going to get away with murder?”
“Leave that to us.”
“Yes, do. I’ll do what I can to make sure you are not found, and he’ll provide you with the tools necessary to carry out your duty.”
“Oh, you’re going to love this. Pop the trunk.”
Inside the trunk is a black case. Judging by the simple shape of it, I can tell it’s a firearm.
“That is the Berretta CX-4 Storm. It’s the best lightweight carbine available on the market. You can nail a person between the eyes from a good 400 yards away. They’ll never find you. Go ahead. Pick it up and get a feel for it.”
The weapon is pretty light, weighing about seven pounds with the clip. Fifteen rounds of .40cal firepower. There’s not a man alive that could survive a shot above the neck from it. The carbine feels strangely comfortable resting between my shoulder, cheek, and palms.
“You like it, don’t you? Everyone does. Go ahead, fire off a round.”
The carbine discharged a round with relative ease and silence and almost no recoil. Indeed, it is a pretty good weapon. It probably could get the job done nicely.
“That’s only one of the tools that you’ll need for this job. Show him what you got.”
“Here, take this and put it on.”
He hands me an old, long leather coat. It seems as if it’s seen its fair share of violence. The bottom is tattered, along with small patches here and there where the coat appears to have been clawed. “Where did you get this from?”
“It’s mine. As you can see, I’ve had it for quite a while. It’s seen a few battles and has served me well. It should keep you safe.”
“All right, he’s geared up. Let’s get this party started.”
“So what do I do?”
“We’re headed for Sin City itself. It’s the perfect place to start.”
“Las Vegas? Are you crazy? Couldn’t we start somewhere small, like, I don’t know, some corrupt small town?”
“What’s wrong with Vegas? It’s the perfect place to start. It’s got everything. Greed, corruption, adultery, violence, and best of all, distractions.”
“What do you mean ‘distractions’?”
“Think about it. When the lights come on down the strip, anything coming from overhead disappears. Throw in the sounds of slot machines and golden oldies blaring from every casino and you’ve the perfect setting for the perfect crime.”
“I hate to admit it, but he’s right. It’ll be the easiest place to start. The city is crawling with plenty of sin. We can start there and move pretty smoothly, sending plenty of souls down, which should by us some more time.”
“From there, we head west. We’ll work our way through California heading north, then clear out the entire country, from Seattle to Miami, San Diego to New York City.”
“Those are some pretty big cities. What if someone finds me? Even worse, what if someone tries to kill me?”
“Don’t worry. As soon as we start sending souls down to Satan, he’ll realize what you’re doing and won’t let you die as long as you keep doing it.”
This is all coming so fast. I don’t know if I can’t take so much bearing down on my shoulders.
“We move out tomorrow morning. We should make it to Vegas by nightfall. Then, we begin.”
“So I’ll be able to sleep on this?”
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
“No. I’m just saying, will I be able to take some time and let this all sink in? You know, so I can get used to the idea of having to kill people for a living now?”
“I wouldn’t go as far as calling it a living.”
“Unless you’re pretty damn good at it.”
What if I am? Will I have to do this until the day I die? Or worse, what if I don’t die? What if I become an eternal pawn in this game? “Tomorrow, then?”
For the rest of the way home, I couldn’t shake the thought from my mind. I’m going to actually have to kill people. Was I seriously willing to go through with it?
What if it’s all just my imagination? What if this whole time, my mind was playing tricks on me? Should I really take that risk? Should I really put my life on the line to carry out what could be nothing more than a daydream?
No. My imagination couldn’t have put a carbine in my trunk. This has to be real. All of it, it has to be real. Come on, I can still smell the gun powder on my shirt.
What if it’s not really there? What if you just imagined that, too?
Even my own senses are beginning to confuse me. What do I believe? How do I know what’s right? The trunk, check the trunk. That’s it! If this was all really happening, the carbine would still be in the trunk and the clip would be missing a round. If it’s not in there, then it was all just my imagination. I have to check.
Oh, dear God. It’s there. It’s there and it’s missing a round. This is real. It’s all real. I have to do it. I’m going to have to kill people. It is my fate. It is inevitable. I must accept it.
But it is also a sign of change. There still may be a way out of this.
Think about it. You can’t kill people if you’re dead, right?
What? What are you talking about?
Hear me out. If you’re already dead, then there’s no way you can kill anyone else, right?
And if you can’t kill anyone, then you don’t have to worry about the guilty conscience.
But what about the rest of humanity? If I don’t do this, then they’ll all die.
Do you want to be the one putting them down, or would you rather be another sheep in the flock?
… I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. It’s such a tough decision. I don’t want to be the one killing people, but if I don’t, I’ll be responsible for the death of all humanity.
Which is worse?
… I won’t do it. I’m not going to put a bullet in anyone. I can’t. I just can’t do it.
What should I do?
“Think he’ll do it?”
“I honestly don’t know what he’ll do.”
“Ah, come on. I thought you could foresee this kind of thing.”
“Nah. I’m just really lucky at making predictions.”
“Well, then make one. What do you think will happen? Do you think he’ll go through with it?”
“… I got faith in him. I think he’ll do it.”
“Really? I don’t know. He seems pretty doubtful, or the very least, hesitant about the whole thing.”
“Think about it. Imagine yourself in his shoes. How would you take it?”
“I’d ask for the biggest, most bad-ass gun man can make.”
“I meant if you were mortal.”
“Oh. Well, I guess that changes things a little.”
“Yeah, just a little.”
“All right, so it changes it quite a bit. But seriously, I got a feeling he might not do it.”
“We’ll know by tomorrow, that’s for sure.”
“Shouldn’t we be watching him or something?”
“I’m sure he’s fine.”
“You sound pretty confident, considering how the fate of existence rests on that kid’s shoulders.”
“I got my reasons.”
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“I’m going to commit a murder.”
“I’m going to commit a murder.”
“Sir, if this is a joke, I suggest you hang up or you will be charged for making a false statement.”
“The target is a young male, at *** ******* Street. I suggest you hurry, while there’s still time.”
“Sir, I’m going to ask you to please stay on the line.”
“All units, be advised we have a report of a possible hostage situation at *** ******* Street.”
“10-4, dispatch. Unit 47 is en route.”
I can hear the sirens echoing off the street as they draw closer. I don’t have much time. I have to do this. I have to.
The police pull up to the house just in time to see it all go down. I take the carbine and position it between the window sill and my chest. Right as they get to the door, I pull the trigger.
“Oh, dear God. We’re too late.”
“So what are we looking at here, boss?
“This wasn’t a murder. This was a suicide.”
“Do we know why?”
“Can’t say. There’s no note. There’s no message of any sort. Look around and see if you can find something. Get the coroner up here. Let’s bag and tag him.”
“Told you he wouldn’t do it”
“I didn’t see you stopping him.”
“I didn’t see you stopping him either.”
“Look, we’re both at fault here. Let’s just get him out of here. I know someone that can get this whole mess straightened up.”
| ok i realy like this one and thats kinda weird seeing how i'm athiest and all and i usually hate anything that even mentions "god" or a religous figure in it. but this one caught my intrest very easily. once i started to read i just couldn't stop and most people would read throgh it all or yet even leave a comment. but enough rambling on, this piece was great the whole story line flowed smothly and easily, i realy like the line |
"Let’s face it. Sometimes, you have to get your hands dirty to clean the world up a little.”
this is probably the most truthful line in the whole story becuase if you look at it all you can never solve a true problem without getting your own hands dirty. but i liked how you showed the strugle with some people dealing with the belief in "god" and "armagedon" it shows how even some see people as tools for "god". over all this piece was great.
o and about the description and the opening to the poem it sounds almost as if your contemplating suicide or something and i'm telling you not as some random unknowing idiot but out of experience that suicide is nothing but a waste to someone with so much to say. it seems like your having hard times that are hard to cope with and honestly quite sickening. but then again i don't realy know exactly what your thinking and if you want to know what i know about hard times just read my bio on my page for a little refrence to my life.
|| Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ] |