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    dots Submission Name: A broken girldots

    Author: Catylyx
    ASL Info:    17/F/Sand Springs
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 7/15/7
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1181
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 905


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    dotsA broken girldots

    She's crying, but she's trying to believe
    That this faith will save her...

    A broken hearted girl found her faith today.
    She dropped the afflictions that marr her flesh
    And accepted a love that won't go away.
    But something happened along the way,
    and her heart nearly shattered from the pain.
    But she kept going, because she knew
    This hope would keep her sane.

    A broken souled girl almost lost her faith today.
    She's crying and refuses to feel,
    To feel this pain that leaves her drained.
    But an angel whispers inside her heart,
    "He keeps you for your broken heart,
    and loves you for your fragile soul."

    A broken girl finally breaks free,
    And although she's crying, she keeps trying.
    Believing that this faith will save her...

    Submitted on 2005-12-07 09:18:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      you did a good job picking out the words you wanted to use. you could probably make it alittle bit longer, but either way its nice.
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by kittys18 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my God! This poem is so what I feel sometimes... espeacially about the hope and how it fades but yet you just keep trying and hanging on... all in hope that it will all change for the better.
    this most definately is a favorite
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by JTrickly | [ Reply to This ]
    this poem was very deep and intense, i liked it

    except a few little things,
    "And accepted a love that won't go away.
    But something happened along the way, "
    Didn't flow quite right, too much'way'

    also I'd like to suggest using other words besides "pain" it became a little repetitive

    otherwise it was beautiful :]
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Halston | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i love this i love poems like this i rwrote a poem like this it called

    "little girl hanging from the tree"

    you should read it
    i love your it so discritive and sad i am going to add it to my favorites
    thank you for such a wounderfull poem...
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by shygirl | [ Reply to This ]

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