Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Stress


Author: Flamequill
ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35
Words: 89
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 631
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 702



Description:


Wierd and chaotic, that's free verse for ya. Well comment and you don't have to be nice


Stress



The stress is killing me
walls pushing me in
I'm trying desperately
to push them back

Going insane with the yelling
Going insane with the stress
barely standing on my two feet
hang on to good friends' hands

Running around
place to place
doing something or other
trying vainly to not
VOMIT

This massive headache
thrums and throbs
pounding and parting
my skull

Lying down
writing this
I try to find
the meaning for bliss

Pain is Pai
a pounding
parting
thrumming
throbbing feeling




Submitted on 2005-12-07 10:55:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Jagged, yo! This whole this screams unhappy teenager. It's like your writing this while you sit in a bath tub getting ready to slit your wrist but wimp out because all you want is attention.
If you're going ot be corporate then do it with style.
Nirvana, that band could write crap like this and not ruin it. Hell, Kurt Cobain wrote a whole song about an bad trip to his grandmas that he knew he blew out of proportion.
Make it real. don't torment yourself for nothing.

Freaking Corporate Lackey...
| Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Augustine | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



83634