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    dots Submission Name: Precious Sliencedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 841
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701


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    dotsPrecious Sliencedots

    You always loved silence.
    You liked the hiss in your ears
    better than any music.
    You made love to me like a mute,
    without a word or moan
    expecting the same from me.
    You hated when I spoke,
    even if words were kind.
    even if I said "I love you,"
    the words that never
    fouled your mouth
    until I left you.
    Now you beg at my feet,
    and I'm the deaf mute,
    so don't speak or cry:
    I prefer radio static.
    I'm giving you your precious quiet;
    I hope you two are happy,
    and nothing's face Is prettier than mine,
    and that air's touch is very sweet.

    Submitted on 2004-04-25 11:13:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A very nice write about someone leaving you, its quite hard I imagine but poetry is always the answer, for me anyway. Have a nice day.
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      a really good write about a break up. you gave him what he always wanted when he doesn't want it for the first time. nice twist. I enjoyed your poem very much. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this was great! It is definately my favorite of everything you wrote. I have no criticism, I thought it was perfect.
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      ha! in that guys face! yea there are stupid guys out in the world who expect you to give them everything and not want anything in return. i really enjoyed reading this. a nice going away poem. leave someone and they come crawling back to your feet.!!! haha great one
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I hope you nailed it to him with this one, this is awesome, and well written, precious silence sounds more like foolish silence, great write!!!!
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good one. I liked it a lot, even though I tend to be the silent one, I understand this poem from your perspective. :)
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by pawnee | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a depressing poem. A person not talking ezpecially not making any a peep while they're making love. I can't stand somebody that I love not talking to me. Very depressing and great write.
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by Rogue | [ Reply to This ]
      Very strong words, m'lady. The imagery is good too, I can never find anything critisizing to say about your stuff, and I hate that. I feel like such a sappy little twit. Oh well though, if its good it deserves only kind words, aye? Excellent write. ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really cool i like it alot. Is it true? i hope not sounds like a crappy relationship if it was. Any way i liked
    I hope you two are happy
    And nothing's face
    Is prettier than mine
    Those lines really cool anyway better leave you alone this is really cool
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
      THis is really spiteful. Aagh! I suppose the object of the poem deserved it, but this is like public flagellation. Alright, vent till you feel better or see a shrink (unless of course you're writing about someone else's pain) than get on with something HhahAPpeEEe! By the way, I liked it. Hee, hee.
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]

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