F.U.B.A.R.
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Description:
FUBAR means fucked up beyond all recognition. The form and varying rhyme schemes and metaphors are FUBAR, as is the message and life itself. But i definatley think it is saying something, so tell me what you think of the writing and what it tells you.
Inspired by jim morrison in the begining, then the ideas just flew.
edited by deleting the end because it was way out place...
Inspired by jim morrison in the begining, then the ideas just flew.
edited by deleting the end because it was way out place...
F.U.B.A.R.
A shower of disease The hero’s on his knees An hour of defeat Knocked right off his feet Trapped in our own minds Failures by design We’re all refugees from the moment we crawl out Into the burning sun from our mothers cave Free from the shelter, but not from the doubt From Darwin’s theory no ones saved But it’s the brave who do fall first Because they scurry to the peak To quench their spirits thirst To find what they must seek But the climber loses care Pitfalling to the ground Rushing through the air The real legends wont make a sound And will be gone and thus disbanding Ones quest for understanding Survivalists jump ahead But soon they’ll all be dead Bubonic on their skin It’s the plague that wins An epidemic of self desire A holocaust of the admirer When the missles dash the sky Who will you remember? The one who cowers and cries Or the one who fights and dies Defiance is an institution Compliance is like prostitution No dignity left Virginity’s theft The tide is crawling up The waves foam into skyscrapers now It feels quite abrupt People history will naturally disavow Cling to the boardwalk in vain Rebels marching to the sea Dancing in the rain in the rain..... |
Submitted on 2005-12-07 21:23:33 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| This is an interesting poem. I like it. I think it is creative and has a lot to say about mankind. It is true that the brave ones will die, as they have no fear to keep them in check with reality. The reference to being born and coming out of mom's womb is cleverly described here as well. I like the irratic rhyme scheme as well. Kinda leaves you guessing a bit and goes along well with the theme of the poem. The end of time is a scary thought. I have always said we are our own worst enemy and it might just be true indeed. Overall, this was enjoyable to read. Not a happy subject but you held my attention the whole read and I found this one to be insightful as to your thoughts. Nice work. Take care. Lorna  | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] | Firstly, because I like to get the nitpicking out of the way, you're missing a few apostrophes on " no one's ", " spirits' ", " One's ". | I particularly like this part: 'Who will you remember? The one who cowers and cries Or the one who fights and dies' This has a distinct memorability and stands out from the rest of the poem due to it's exact rhythm. It seems to be the main message that you are trying to get across, but I can't really tell because the rest of it is a bit of a jumble to me. The main message that I'm getting from this is desperation and the fact that no matter which way we go about things, we will always ultimately fail and be our own destruction As with the comment below (although not sure of the End Of Days reference) I'm not quite sure I liked this poem. In parts yes, but it became a little directionless at the end. And the two lines: 'And death is the only beginning Because it is the thing most unknown' doesn't really make sense. I would understand if the poem had some kind of spiritual connotations but the piece seems completely themed around the finality of our destructive actions. Incidently, did you know that snafu is another abbreviation born of the Second World War conflict and stands for 'Situation Normal. All F**ked Up'. Just read that in a book... | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by manintheshack | [ Reply to This ] | You lii=ked to kill people in this one. The cave reference reminds me of something of Plato's. I believe it went a man looking through a fire in his cave can not see the light of day, or the openning of the cave, or something like that. The character seems to have a defeatist outlook If this is a nuclear M.A.D. situtation then maybe it is correct. But if it is the fall of civilization would the man not fight back, but he does not he is already a savage himself. The cave in reference to the womb was nice. I am undecided in my opinion of the poem. I am not personally the fan of the End of days. Thanks for posting. | | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ] | |
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