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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Two halvesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mieko
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253/209/99
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 545
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 692



    Description:
       TOKI NO BOUSHIN ...: D I mean.
    I've been reading too much D.N. Angel <33

    Okay guys,

    tell me your first impressions! 8D It's a freewrite I wrote late at night! Yay!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwo halvesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Everything in this world,
    Is part of a half.
    Two parts of a set,
    now, and in the past.

    Moon and sun,
    Light and dark,
    Time and sadness,
    Me and my ‘only one.’

    I see the puzzle
    Before my eyes
    I attempt to fix it
    But it’s in disguise

    Pick up the pieces,
    See if they fit.
    Jam them together,
    ‘Till they’re fed up with it.

    Sometimes two halves,
    Will never cross
    Sometimes along our paths,
    We are lost.

    I’ll never see it,
    This day, or this age
    I’ll never feel it-
    Not ‘till the stars fade.




    Submitted on 2005-12-08 04:00:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Every particle has an antiparticle. For every person born there is someone made for them out there.
    I like the "two" in this poem, yin and yang and all that, usually people like three better as for some reason three has more charm than two.
    However there are some sections that suggest these two are not going to come together? Perhaps mismatched? A puzzle piece jammed together just to make it fit, much like teen love, no matter how much you jam it together, it's not going to work.
    But it's nice.
    Cheers!
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of the sayings "One is the lonliest number" and "The world is built for two." It reminds me that there's a new way to say anything. This is very true, and while it sucks to be alone, it's better than being with someone who isn't right for you. Your hyphen should be a dash, but that's a small nit to pick, amy
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really interesting
    I really liked this
    You are saying that in some cases no matter how hard you try a relationship or a situation will not come together
    This is True
    I really liked how you worded this
    I appreciate your comments on Thank You
    But I would like to point out something
    Yes the Lord answered my prayers because I asked him for Help but he was the only help I needed
    His Love and Faith in me brought me back my Paremts my family and my whole World
    I Thank Him With all my Heart
    So Yes Thank You was a True Story
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This neat, and it was a free write that makes it better. I liked the imagery used here. And I liked the way you kept the flow going. It was a deep and thought provoking poem. It's funny how life works or not, and that's what I get from this. Nice job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Some times you can have to halves that won't fit together. Just like a puzzle...certain pieces fit with only certain pieces...

    I feel that you can find the other piece to the half if you don't waste your time trying to cram in the half that isn't meant to be there.

    This was greatly done. I liked it!

    Much love,

    Li

    P.S. I love your little cat icon..that is SO cute!
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      i definately felt as if you were talking to me and only me, good job on presentation. i would like to agree with elephantasia on that stanza they quoted and the "never" in the last stanza. but i will also say i enjoyed how your whole poem was so sensible because it was talking about halves yet was divided into halves itself. the first two lines of each stanza was exactly one half of the stanza and the last two lines were exactly the second half. well done!
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by wherRutakingME | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this. Although I dont like the word "never" in the last verse. I felt it almost robbed me of the possibility and closed a door. I like the duality of the opposites in this

    "I see the puzzle
    Before my eyes
    I attempt to fix it
    But it’s in disguise"

    Oh the slipperiness of clear sight. I found lots of personal meaning in this poem for me right now. So thanks for that.

    Maybe it doesnt need fixing just accepting.

    Blessings
    Kate
    xxx
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written poem and the flow is great and this one is very interesting and I enjoyed reading it alot ,I hope I will get to read more of yours,so please keep writing and I will be reading them.
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]


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