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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Immortalize Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 280



    Description:
       Any feed back is good. I strive to be better and with your comments I will know what I can improve on. Thanks.


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    dotsImmortalize Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't immortalize our love.
    But when the sun burns out,
    and the stars begin to fall,
    when the earth cracks,
    and finally Disintegrates.
    We will be holding each other,
    Our love will be strong,
    even while all existance fades




    Submitted on 2005-12-08 10:58:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      oh by the gods that is so beautiful! do you mind if I copy and paste it into an e-mail for my b/f? tomorrow is our fourth month of dating. and I'de of course put on it that your the other and give you credits and all that great stuff. again this is really good!
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by sinister_always | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    It's me great poems, aren't all of yours good.*lol* well anyways, keep up the great writting.

    Raven
    Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Might I just say that by no means did I want to squash your deep love and admiration for this boy who has taken the heart and made it fall in love.
    Remember I saidyou already have half of the love required to accomplish this immortal bond.
    To that I must add, go for it!
    Even Sugar is sceptical of a mans faithful attendance!
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the tragic romance of this piece. Its very well written, and clearly expressed.
    I think the idea of having somebody stood with you when the earth is falling apart is fantastic! Most of the men I know would run like mad before collapsing in a terrified heap... saying that, I'm not sure I would be much calmer...
    But anyway, overall I really did enjoy this piece. I think that the length is perfect, and you express the bond between the couple brilliantly.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Sugar | [ Reply to This ]
      Good luck young lady, but I'm going to tell you right now there is not a man alive who's going to be standing there with you! Long before the earth cracks he will be trying to catch all the gusto he can from every source available, in my opinion.
    I've been married a long time, and humanity has not changed, for there are very few left with that much heart to give to any woman.
    But at fifteen, you can still dream and I hope yours comes true! After all, you have half the love required for it already.
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Good visulazation. Its powerful, but short. So if you wanted you could add more, but its nice short. So maybe make it longer? But overall, its good.
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by mysweetsuicide | [ Reply to This ]


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