I like this one. I guess it's the "you left me thing," but it reminds me of a Bright Eyes song called ""Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh." It's really nothing like the song, but the mood is similar. Before I read this, I was thinking it would be something relating to the god awful game show. This is one of the best "dark" poems I've read in a long time. I don't usually like rhyme, but you did it so well here that it works. I do think that "The one you found me sleeping awake in the beginning" is a little off kilter. Perhaps you could break it up into two lines. I also think you need to add something like "The one where you found me sleeping awake in the beginning." By the way, "sleeping awake" is a great image (as an insomniac I do my share of that); I also like the razor wire noose. Perhaps you could also say Hades or something for hell in the last stanza because you used it twice already. Great work, Amy
A-effing-mazing write, Girlio! you came up with the best imagery yet! i love the razor-wire noose and the cliff...you are gonna be so much better at writing poetry than me! i love you, SugarPlum, with all my heart, christmas trees and honeybees, Mom
I don't know, this is strange it's like suddenly I'm not the only one in the world who feels like this or is going through this. I liked the imagery in this, very vivid I think, the piece itself could do with a little expanding though you should work on that, but I like it so far. Keep it up.
"Two evils, one story yet told Two pains, yet one is shown" these lines attracted me, so I fallowed through. Rhyming was good. The second to last Stanza was a little off. It would have been best to keep from putting too many "rhymy" type words, like: it, bit, and slit. Perhaps a word that would have rhymed with "freely" would have been best.
Nonetheless, it was pimp, well who knows, that was probably your style to begin with. P.S. I really like that cute lil' hamster as your icon...soso cute.