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    dots Submission Name: Wetter Todaydots

    Author: particularshard
    ASL Info:    23/m/DC
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 1159/1392/363
    Words: 429
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2665

       So - looks like i finaly ditched two (count them 2!) ladies of ill-repute (at least in my mind) for good as good can be, and I'm just dealin with the baggage they left behind. That and wondering where those good women I used to get are....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWetter Todaydots

    I'm a lotta ugly things
    But at least I stay real-
    Do what I want,
    Say what I feel -
    Shrugging false appeal
    And refusing to deal
    In the bull shit you pull with -
    Half of life's cards
    Like the crack from a bullwhip -
    Seconds behind
    Some don't mind but I do.
    Keep too much fraud around
    And you start to lie too
    If Ima see my eyes through
    I'll only feed them guys proof
    Cuz they turn they back to my mind,
    And then shit out the truth -
    I'd rather be blind
    Then get bits of they use,
    Because lying to myself was a mistake of my youth.
    And I'm older now,
    A soldier now,
    Blood runs colder now,
    The chip is almost all you can see, of my shoulder now,
    How tight I'd hold her now -
    Any and each of those loves past,
    Who loved beneath my mask
    When I just loved the ass -
    But time went so fast
    From baseball, and science class
    And now i'm all upset and the drugs don't seem to last -
    Nearly long enough,
    Or maybe they just not strong enough -
    Or maybe at the base of it I was just wrong to bluff
    And pretend I didn't care -
    Then scream that life wasn't fair -
    That if women want to share
    I get to choose when and where!
    But I'll be damned if I declare
    That it hurts when they stay away
    Look me in the eye with only 'nothing to say'
    And this turns from something to play
    Into a pain in my chest -
    I mean they failed the test -
    How did I come out less?
    How am I now depressed
    Though I know I'm better for it?
    I should be able to ignore it
    But my hard wall seems porous -
    And in float the doubts,
    The shoulda-thought-abouts
    The 'now you're locked in, with no fuckin way out's
    And to one who flouts,
    Society's rules at will
    Its some bitter medicine to want something from it still,
    Even if they ill -
    Lying and denying
    Wasn't it fun to chill?
    Sighing and sliding inside and biding,
    Those mares all across the bedsheets,
    If the head was good did it matter that she was a head-freak?
    But heads leak,
    Out they acid like batteries,
    And ugly insides can't be hidden with flattery
    So now they mad at me,
    I say its better that way,
    They were both disposable,
    But my cheek is wetter today.

    Submitted on 2005-12-08 17:42:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This to me is just a boy becomming a man. Realizing what and who he has grown into..With that comes manu questions, as well as much insight to what has transpored and what is about to happen....This is just growing up.....I enjoyed this. It was like you opening a window to yourself--tough to write, though to some --even tougher to read.
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Joy, say it like you want to, I think you have the potential for that. Searching for a word to rhyme with a thought is hard to do let alone porous, batteries and disposable!
    Come on just start cussing, most of the four letter variety have matches!
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      a sad poem.
    I think the end was perfect- it made it all come together. It hurt the worst.

    The only suggestion I have is to try it without rhyming.
    I think you could relay your feelings better if you didnt have to find a word to rhyme with.
    sometimes I threw the whole poem off because it was all the same sound at the end, yet the words didnt go together as well.
    Just a suggestion though, it might just be your thing.

    whatever your discription of it is- we all just want to be loved, for real.
    Thanks for the write
    take care
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]

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