I'm a lotta ugly things
But at least I stay real-
Do what I want,
Say what I feel -
Shrugging false appeal
And refusing to deal
In the bull shit you pull with -
Half of life's cards
Like the crack from a bullwhip -
Some don't mind but I do.
Keep too much fraud around
And you start to lie too
If Ima see my eyes through
I'll only feed them guys proof
Cuz they turn they back to my mind,
And then shit out the truth -
I'd rather be blind
Then get bits of they use,
Because lying to myself was a mistake of my youth.
And I'm older now,
A soldier now,
Blood runs colder now,
The chip is almost all you can see, of my shoulder now,
How tight I'd hold her now -
Any and each of those loves past,
Who loved beneath my mask
When I just loved the ass -
But time went so fast
From baseball, and science class
And now i'm all upset and the drugs don't seem to last -
Nearly long enough,
Or maybe they just not strong enough -
Or maybe at the base of it I was just wrong to bluff
And pretend I didn't care -
Then scream that life wasn't fair -
That if women want to share
I get to choose when and where!
But I'll be damned if I declare
That it hurts when they stay away
Look me in the eye with only 'nothing to say'
And this turns from something to play
Into a pain in my chest -
I mean they failed the test -
How did I come out less?
How am I now depressed
Though I know I'm better for it?
I should be able to ignore it
But my hard wall seems porous -
And in float the doubts,
The 'now you're locked in, with no fuckin way out's
And to one who flouts,
Society's rules at will
Its some bitter medicine to want something from it still,
Even if they ill -
Lying and denying
Wasn't it fun to chill?
Sighing and sliding inside and biding,
Those mares all across the bedsheets,
If the head was good did it matter that she was a head-freak?
But heads leak,
Out they acid like batteries,
And ugly insides can't be hidden with flattery
So now they mad at me,
I say its better that way,
They were both disposable,
But my cheek is wetter today.