Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kisseddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sugar
    ASL Info:    23/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.43 - 84/63/9
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 822



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKisseddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A baby kiss before we die
    Bite my wrist, make me cry
    Water, blood, semen, wine
    Take your life, I'll give you mine

    Sugar kiss before you sleep
    Iím drowning in the tears I weep
    We'll go together, heaven or hell
    If I am dead then I can't tell

    Broken kiss
    I can't breathe
    You're on your feet
    Ready to leave

    Where are you going?
    Am I left all alone?
    Must I face death
    Here on my own?

    A deadly kiss
    I can't move
    No more feelings
    Nothing to prove

    I saw you hold my bloodstained hand
    Forever yours - I understand
    I saw you kiss my lifeless shell
    As you betrayed the trust I knew so well.




    Submitted on 2005-12-09 05:14:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a unique write, I thought the rhythm was a little off, but I suppose it wasn't meant to have any. The imagery was good, dark and blurry as a dream.
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this was a good write. correct me if im wrong but you are writing from the prospective of a lost soul. It seems that the best things said or the best things done ore only done after its too late. Nevertheless it was still a good write. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this poem is so amazing. The use of rhyming is just amazing. The imagery the read gets is unexplainable.

    This is very powerful and truely orginal. And for you I hope things have patched up and hope things are going better for you.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow wow wow all i can say is that this is a powerful piece well written and fantastic imagery i hope that this piece wasnt written from experience on your part and if so i hope you are feeling better i understand where you are coming from with this poem and applaud you for sharing it with us thank you very much

    Timmy S. Edgar
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Timmy S. Edgar | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    83844

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry