Crying for Rielle is a play on words for a poem style called; Kyrielle. This has FOUR metric feet per line.
Re-written to to that rythm.
My heart so weak, from seeing her,
I'd love to have the days that were.
To see that glowing once concieved,
She's all I had, I had believed.
Upon her bed, racked in such pain,
She mumbled so.my heart did drain
A hope for life, to cures we cleaved,
She's all I had, I had believed.
Her grave has vanished in the sod,
I sometimes pass and give a nod,
I've given her up, she is with God,
She's all I had, I had believed.
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Now, I've tried to take the same thoughts and lines and rearange them into the other rhyme scheme. This is my take, whats your?
abaB,cbcB,dbdB,+ aeaZ
My heart so weak, from seeing her,
To see that glowing once conceived,
I'd love to have the days that were.
She's all I had, I had believed.
Upon her bed, racked in such pain,
A hope for life, to cures we cleaved.
She mumbled so, my heart did drain,
She’s all I had, I had believed.
Her grave has vanished in the sod,
I’ve given her up God has recieved,
I sometimes pass, and give a nod,
She’s all I had, I had believed.
I felt alone my mind a blur,
Until you came, I'd cry and mourn.
I’d love to have the days that were,
Our eyes to meet, your love for sure.
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Submission Name: Ertha; Crying for Rielle-revised
