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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can I?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flamequill
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77/97/35
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 1034
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 895



    Description:
       Free verse is my friend....

    The answer to this poem is yes, as you will see from "Please Know I Try", tell me what you think

    Your weirdo Mexican

    Flamequill

    PS I'm paranoid of ocilating fans


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan I?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Can I ever repay
    all the good he's done
    all the pain...
    he takes away

    Could I ever hold him up
    can I be strong for him
    my guide is lost
    while I am found

    Should we switch?
    Am I ready
    can I be a brohter to him

    Can I be the little brother
    I want to be
    Can I be the friend
    he needs me to be

    Can I say the words
    the spell
    to end his pain

    Can I talk to him
    without screaming
    can I try to console him
    without telling him about me

    Why am I selfish?
    This isn't about me
    This is about him
    and I should be there
    stop doubting yourself
    and be his friend

    Build the fire
    and bring him up
    be there you ass
    and stop being stupid




    Submitted on 2005-12-09 08:55:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      veddy interesting... i liked it personall im a fan of no rhyme. Why am I selfish?
    This isn't about me
    This is about him
    and I should be there
    stop doubting yourself
    and be his friend
    that is very very sad. but i think just about everyone can relate.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      A very personal piece with obvious emotion - the writer is questioning his own strength... I think there are some weaker sections... it wasnt clear to me why you would go from being there for your friend/brother, expressing your intention to put him first - to then want to discuss your own troubles/issues with him ... But... I did find the piece easy and enjoyable to read, and I think the reason it might not be 100% clear to me is because they are feelings/thoughts that come straight from your heart
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Sugar | [ Reply to This ]


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