Description: I wrote this like 5 years ago befor my car accident. And I don't think I can write as good but I'm trying.
There I fixed it more, but bet theres bunk shit.
War on Drugs -------------------------------------------
It starts in the ground
Outside of small towns
In third world countries
Where starving little kids have munchies
And rich people find this shit funny
Because they got all the money
So they turn to their only hope
Which is growing dope
Whether its coco leaves
Or Poppy seeds
And then it gets shipped to United States
But first has to go thru an imaginary gate
Which is watched by border patrol
And they seem not to have a sole
Cause they get paid to keep their eyes closed
Letting drugs come in like water through a hose
Going to all the big fucking cities
Not the nice parts but the ereas that are shity
This is where mass quantity is sold
To only the big and the bold
The city cops didn't make their money yet
Don’t belive me wont to make a bet
They wait for the middle class man
To step into crazy evil plan
Then guy gets poled over without a doubt
Cause his left rear tale light is out
And he got caught selling a jar back in 98
So the cop pulls his record from that date
The guy tries to lie. It was a good try
but now he saying bye… bye…
I quite enjoyed it tho the rhyme is settle forced in quite a few places, It could use tweaks and honestly so could your spelling, but its nothing to bad.
good subject, alrite base and an average level of spelling and grammer for the site, meaning you have a not bad piece here, but I think you should take it into word and correct spelling and grammer before posting.
Poetry is a form of art, and if mistreated, it will be lost forever.
the underground, not only in the US, but really the world. You're right, dirty money fuels the world man, thats just the way it goes. I totally see where you're coming from with this. Being from a small town where, you know, sometimes you have to do a little dirty work to get by, along with everything else, and of course, what you've done in the past always comes back to bite you in the ass. Thats the way that life is though, and in the end your soul is sold.
The underlying idea was good man, you had a lot of grammatical errors, but that never really bothers me, i know what you're getting at. well dude, take it easy man.
This was really good...wow this is definatly a favorites addition of mine...I Liked the point here..some of the things you point out make it worth the read...at some parts the thought was a little choppy and the flow was a little off but all in all good write...anything with a message can make up for lack of flow...anyways most of the flow was ok. keep writing...take care. ~silent
I do like this. It pretty much sums up a bigger part of the way that the US gets drugs into America. Most people think that the only ones that do pot are the kids with nothing or the people with no money. WRONG! Go walk the halls of my old high school. I could point out our star football player.
thanks for reading " the government loves you " yea i liked this one, it does have some of the same topics that mine speaks about. [censored]in government hey? well yea i wrote two verses about specific drugs, so i guess this one is like my political one and drug ones mixed together.
i really like this its great so true definately relate a couple of my mates at school do drugs and all and its not always in america though but i can see why you wrote it about america cos you live there... anyway its great!
Thanks for the cratics but I think shygirl lost my point in the story its just comes down to the governemt realy liking drugs and not hating them. they make alot of money off it and I just put how it is into words how regular socity dosent look at it like that. but thats how it is and IO said coco leaves and popy seeds nothing about weed . nothing about mexicans shuving weed baggies up there asses ether.
and hey tyvm=thank you very much sugar I will leave u stuff.
i dont really like it just because the subject kind of bores me. we grow lotsa stuff here too its not all shipped in. anyways there were a lot of spelling errors thats about all i can say that might be helpful.
I liked this... Im one of those people who always reads the lyrics on the inside cover of every new album they buy...I could imagine these being printed - I just wish I could hear how you intended them to sound... This is a very serious subject expressed thoughtfully and passionately
aww this is all right i like the poem but not what its about not all drugs are shipped in from Mexico there grown herre to and its not always a bad thing it how alot of people can make mony and support there famly
some people do not have a choice in the matter they have to or die and starve
there are to many drugs now days but if there was not bad drugs there would'nt be good ones either.
i hope you think on this and you can understand what i mean
this is a goo dpoem but it not true to the fullest leanth.