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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: War on Drugsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DrewDilla
    ASL Info:    25/M/Chicago
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 131/196/51
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1261



    Description:
       I wrote this like 5 years ago befor my car accident. And I don't think I can write as good but I'm trying.

    There I fixed it more, but bet theres bunk shit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWar on Drugsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It starts in the ground
    Outside of small towns
    In third world countries
    Where starving little kids have munchies
    And rich people find this shit funny
    Because they got all the money
    So they turn to their only hope
    Which is growing dope
    Whether its coco leaves
    Or Poppy seeds
    And then it gets shipped to United States
    But first has to go thru an imaginary gate
    Which is watched by border patrol
    And they seem not to have a sole
    Cause they get paid to keep their eyes closed
    Letting drugs come in like water through a hose
    Going to all the big fucking cities
    Not the nice parts but the ereas that are shity
    This is where mass quantity is sold
    To only the big and the bold
    The city cops didn't make their money yet
    Don’t belive me wont to make a bet
    They wait for the middle class man
    To step into crazy evil plan
    Then guy gets poled over without a doubt
    Cause his left rear tale light is out
    And he got caught selling a jar back in 98
    So the cop pulls his record from that date
    The guy tries to lie. It was a good try
    but now he saying bye… bye…




    Submitted on 2005-12-09 09:12:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you got heart drew.

    "cuz his left tail light out" LMFAO

    how many people are in prison cuz they didn't check their lights- why GIVE it away?

    keep rollin brothuh
    | Posted on 2006-12-05 00:00:00 | by Notoriouskelly | [ Reply to This ]
      Not to shabby, dig the flow. I don't mind a war on drugs, just the war on weed. The rest should be outlawed, anyhoo good write.
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      good write. spell check. but keep some to keep people thinking. kudos to good writing.


    ~Max Ryder
    | Posted on 2006-10-16 00:00:00 | by Max R. | [ Reply to This ]
      i kind of agree... it seemed a little forced......
    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by Ela | [ Reply to This ]
      yea now i really like this one. speaks much truth! you've really got a grasp on how the world works. i enjoyed reading this. good write.
    Holy
    | Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by Holy Wood | [ Reply to This ]
      I quite enjoyed it tho the rhyme is settle forced in quite a few places, It could use tweaks and honestly so could your spelling, but its nothing to bad.

    good subject, alrite base and an average level of spelling and grammer for the site, meaning you have a not bad piece here, but I think you should take it into word and correct spelling and grammer before posting.

    Poetry is a form of art, and if mistreated, it will be lost forever.
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      the underground, not only in the US, but really the world. You're right, dirty money fuels the world man, thats just the way it goes. I totally see where you're coming from with this. Being from a small town where, you know, sometimes you have to do a little dirty work to get by, along with everything else, and of course, what you've done in the past always comes back to bite you in the ass. Thats the way that life is though, and in the end your soul is sold.

    The underlying idea was good man, you had a lot of grammatical errors, but that never really bothers me, i know what you're getting at. well dude, take it easy man.

    Austin
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good...wow this is definatly a favorites addition of mine...I Liked the point here..some of the things you point out make it worth the read...at some parts the thought was a little choppy and the flow was a little off but all in all good write...anything with a message can make up for lack of flow...anyways most of the flow was ok. keep writing...take care.
    ~silent
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like this. It pretty much sums up a bigger part of the way that the US gets drugs into America. Most people think that the only ones that do pot are the kids with nothing or the people with no money. WRONG! Go walk the halls of my old high school. I could point out our star football player.

    Good job.
    ~BCute
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      ummm... I dont know I think in order for any song to be judeged you have to hear the beat behind it (unless the lyrics are soo bad you just cant take it). So... yeah I'd have to have a beat.

    Drea
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for reading " the government loves you " yea i liked this one, it does have some of the same topics that mine speaks about. [censored]in government hey? well yea i wrote two verses about specific drugs, so i guess this one is like my political one and drug ones mixed together.

    - kase
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this its great so true definately relate a couple of my mates at school do drugs and all and its not always in america though but i can see why you wrote it about america cos you live there...
    anyway its great!
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Brat05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for the cratics but I think shygirl lost my point in the story its just comes down to the governemt realy liking drugs and not hating them. they make alot of money off it and I just put how it is into words how regular socity dosent look at it like that. but thats how it is and IO said coco leaves and popy seeds nothing about weed . nothing about mexicans shuving weed baggies up there asses ether.

    and hey tyvm=thank you very much sugar I will leave u stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      i dont really like it just because the subject kind of bores me. we grow lotsa stuff here too its not all shipped in. anyways there were a lot of spelling errors thats about all i can say that might be helpful.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this... Im one of those people who always reads the lyrics on the inside cover of every new album they buy...I could imagine these being printed - I just wish I could hear how you intended them to sound...
    This is a very serious subject expressed thoughtfully and passionately
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Sugar | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is all right i like the poem but not what its about not all drugs are shipped in from Mexico there grown herre to and its not always a bad thing it how alot of people can make mony and support there famly

    some people do not have a choice in the matter they have to or die and starve

    there are to many drugs now days
    but if there was not bad drugs there would'nt be good ones either.

    i hope you think on this and you can understand what i mean

    this is a goo dpoem but it not true to the fullest leanth.

    Over and Out!
    shygirl
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by shygirl | [ Reply to This ]


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