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    dots Submission Name: torn theorydots

    Author: bloodied_angel
    ASL Info:    15/Female/Oklahoma
    Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 79/119/44
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1166

       its just depressing

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstorn theorydots

    million teens passing by
    million faces wondering why
    why that one kid walking
    the wrong way on a one way street

    her hood pulled up
    her eyeliner's thick
    her soul is broken
    her flesh is split
    she just wasnts to be forgotten
    she wasts to be remeber the way she was
    befor she was torn

    they stare and wonder
    they ask and comment
    they try to help by taring her apart

    she stares right back
    she know the answer
    but she wont tell answer
    she ignores there comments
    she pray to be left alone

    her counciler says to her
    "i know you hate me
    i hate you too
    i now relize you hurt your self
    you do it for attention
    you just want some one to care
    stop feeling sorry for yourself"

    she replied
    "alright, you can put
    Jane Doe on my grave
    and below that write
    she did it for your attention"

    she walked out
    and grabed a rope
    she tied a knot
    and let life go

    Submitted on 2005-12-09 14:05:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome write another fav from you. I'm stalking you...I know where you live. * laughs evilly * Pretty scary, huh? lol, anyway. I loved this poem. The rhyming was really cool.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      it sounds like somebodys having a bad day(joking). I like the concept behind this write. Though i can't say i'm found of mutilation, it does greatly bother me when those who think they understand say it's purely for attention. It's distressing when that is said, so i can oonly guess as to how it would make the inflictor feel. I'd revise it, just some spelling/grammatical errors and maybe an antonym here and there. It reminds me of one of my pieces. A quick thought, in order to be forgotten you must first have remembered, you can't forget what you never remember hope things get better.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]

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