[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Strap On 13dots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 445
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 686
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2777

       Y a know the saying --don't jump to conclusions....yeah well....don't---don't focus on ther rhyme but the overall story---It was hard to write so cut me some slack

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStrap On 13dots

    We met at my house at about 7:30.
    I was 17 on my 1st date,
    I wasn’t sure if dating was for me.
    Experienced I wasn’t.
    I weighed 200lbs, 250 at the most.
    But the bitch wasn’t a looker,
    in fact quite gross.
    My date was 15 and looked it.
    The smell of virginity was devastatingly bad.
    This is the story of the 1st and last date I ever had..

    Fuck that bitch!
    So what I took it…..
    That bitch wanted me.
    even told some friends that we fucked already.
    And oh how I loved to screw.
    Let's see what happens when someone turns the table on you....

    That night
    that little bitch
    Saw things in a hole
    different light—
    But not my hole.
    I spent some time in the hole when I first got here……no fun.
    For the time I spent in the little bitch’s hole.
    But I accomplished my goal…

    You see Daddy I am pretty.
    Pretty angry….
    As the shrink makes up ways to channel it.
    That little fucking bitch just
    couldn’t handle it….

    Fuck that,
    fuck that fucking bitch.
    I don’t regret a single inch.
    I remember undoing the belt with my teeth…
    The look on the fuckin bitch's face,
    every dream about to come true
    in a fucking heart beat.
    I asked in a submissive voice if the fuckin bitch
    wanted to be tied up?
    The answer was ahh ahhh deh ahhh ahhh yup!
    Stupid fucking bitch....
    So I did,
    the kid.
    I slipped on my strap on
    and crammed all 13 inches in.
    I started yelling yeah, you fuckin bitch..
    As he started cryin,
    and trying to get away,
    but I had 13 reasons why that fuckin bitch wasn’t going anywhere.
    He was gonna do this my way.
    So scream away…you fucking little bitch…
    Yeah, yeah take it like you fuckin little bitches give it..
    How does that feel?
    I wish I could fuck all you men.
    Right then I was tackled by about 10 police men……
    And women….
    Later they said I might have killed him…

    I got 13 years.
    1 year for every inch I crammed up that bitches ass.
    When he thinks about me....
    I wonder what he thinks about?

    I saw Michael (the little bitch) the other day.
    with a girl by his side.
    A girl that used to be a guy……
    Treating her like a girl should be treated...
    I wonder how well he remembers being sodomized?
    The things that come back to haunt us.
    The demons in our past….
    Women; what a pain in the ass!


    Submitted on 2005-12-09 14:51:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I do like this cause I wish I could go back to that little [censored]er who ruined me...and trust me, that 13 inches isn't enough for what he did to me. As much as this is a really morbid way to look at things, I really like the fact that you point out, that guys should treat us chicks right. But your last line completely kills everything for me. It doesn't seem to fit in my opinion. But I love the rest of it, another good job...

    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I didn't take the warning and jumped right in asuming. I see you still have your twisted mind. Those poor midget in there, I really feel sorry for them. I think maybe they should find a less fu-cked up place to live.


    Brightest Blessings,
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is soo wrong on soo many levels, you twisted, twisted man. I had hoped that leaving the bottle behind would change your style, and I can see that it has honed your ability to grab your readers by the seat of their pants and spin them 360 degrees in their chairs!!!

    I love plots with a twist and have seen some good ones. (Or is it, didn't see them coming?) But, you even WARNED me and I jumped right into conclusions. Guess on this one "assume" only made me an ass- you did warn me!

    Loved it, you pervert!

    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      oh my goodness...! still at it with greatness. the element of surprise was so on point in this poem! excellent way of not putting it the sweet and dramatic way that makes someones heart drop, yours was way more harsh and raw that made my heart slam! even though i'm not a big fan of cussing, that was an enjoyable piece, i'm glad i can come back to Elite and read good stuff! keep it up ;)
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Tinasha | [ Reply to This ]
      haha! sweet LT! i hate to say it, but even after your warning I still jumped to conclusions. I got swept up in the story and the moment I realized that the she was a he I had to stop and look back up at your poem-I could have sworn you named the date as a she. oh what tricks the mind plays when it's looking for the story it assumes.

    very nice. I honestly don't give [censored] about the rhyme or anything like that. the story is what really mattered! it was spectacular. so vicous and vile...i loved it! ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by I_Bleed_Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      YOU ARE ONE SICK, TWISTED B.ITCH LOL. F.uck dude, this is classic L.T. in action once again... what the hell is in your drink?

    I thought it was quite a good twist - at the start it seemed like it was about a female getting raped, when in fact it was the other way around. Strap-ons huh? I can't say I've ever had the pleasure myself lol.

    I know this was meant as a stylistic device but I personally felt that you had far too much of the 'little b.itch' phrase in this... it got kinda annoying actually. I think you could probably chop out most of them to have more impact, but that's just my opinion.

    You crazy f.ucker... it definitely got a snigger out of me lol.


    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, the swing from assumed rape, then it being by a girl about a raping a guy, a guy who'd talked about her at school . . . interesting. an then he was with a girl that used ot be a guy . . . if that's meant as he is gay now . . . that strikes me as an incorrect point, being sodomized doesn't convert anyone . . . hpefully you aren't in any way insunating that. aside from that, the story was interesting. the manic monologue was well enough done.

    not bad. not brilliant stylistically, but defenitely cool plot wise.

    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by AptPupilofLife2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, well, my first thought was a rape, but I thought it was a man raping a girl..then the strap-on (which are really fun by the way!)..men don't need strap-ons..a woman raping a man? Hmmm...different. I could see it happening, someone who really really hated men. That's what I love about your work, LT, always makin' us think!
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]