[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: dreamsdots

    Author: Leon Kennedy
    ASL Info:    15/m/La
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 51/75/22
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 929
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 722


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    People wake up,
    from their dreams,
    and realize everything isnt all right,

    the world is twisted,
    as can be,
    and seems to be filled with perpetual night,

    the darkness clouds,
    all of our senses,
    and has us make rash choices,

    that end lives,
    that cease happiness,
    and make us want to go back to the fake bliss,

    so we all return,
    to our dreams,
    and return to our slumbering,

    and dread the day,
    we wake once more,
    and see the world as this dark and dreadful door,

    that will remain closed so that no light,
    can ever enter the perpetual night....

    Submitted on 2005-12-09 14:56:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is icy chill
    the wording and flow and everything
    its nice
    and going in my favs list

    Queen Darknessss of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      its a shame something like life is so beautifull yet so fragile. i love the imagry in this piece. the flow wasnt to bad, and the metaphors were interesting. but i must comment on a something here...

    "and see the world as this dark and dreadful door,

    that will remain closed so that no light,
    can ever enter the perpetual night...."

    was a well put together ending. but the light is there friend, the door may be closed, but man can open it. just think about that for a minute....

    you get a 4.
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]
      The piece was good but I found the ,'s to be distracting every line but that is a personal preference I think?

    It's not a very hopeful piece but a lot of people feel that way. The darkness and the lights are both necessaries to the other's existence.

    Happy Day!
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi this is a sagacious write, I appreciated its element of boldness and the fact that it is indeed reality. To illustrate my point, I know, I find greater peace when I am in slumber land, for it paves a way for me to deal with my troubles. In some perculiar way dreams are the platform for us to tap into our true key objectives without feeling afraid nor intimidated that our desires cannot be fulfilled. Hey this piece celebrates that bit that we have...Our dreams and after all humanity depends on these dreams...A very intriguing write...Thoroughly enjoyed and thank you for sharing...Be happy...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]