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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Snow Daysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tmullins
    ASL Info:    37/F/Mo
    Elite Ratio:    4.5 - 127/149/41
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1021



    Description:
       kids have been home for school for two days, just write what happens!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSnow Daysdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What a beautiful, beautiful sight.
    Tall evergreens dusted in white.
    Schools are closed due to falling snow.
    We, as parents, have no where to go.

    The smell of coffee is drifting in the air.
    Kids all bundled in warm clothes to wear.
    Hats and gloves. Scarves, coats, and boots.
    Baby all wrapped up, in a purple jumpsuit.

    They pile out the door, full of glee.
    Mom in a chair by the Christmas tree.
    I sit nestled between desk and tree,
    I watch out my window, just to see.

    A long solemn smile sits on my face.
    I'm taken aback by this wonderful place.
    Wait. Please, just a few minutes more.
    The, "BAM!", they throw open the door.

    One of them's crying. There's snow on the floor.
    "She won't share!"
    "I'm hungry!", "We're bored!"
    Now, what was I just thanking God for?




    Submitted on 2005-12-09 17:04:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      lol Exactly Thank god then grab the Aspirin's.
    I love the imagery that you have in this poem. I can see you sitting at your desk beside the christmas tree looking out at the snow covered scenery.. I do agree with Inspirit ,altho only my opinion, that you should fit lazily or something to that effect to get rid of the second tree in that stanza. Thank you for the great read..:)
    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by rosered | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is cute. ok a few things here. most of your rhymes are super. but I want to suggest perhaps in the third stanza instead of tree maybe put lazily, only if you want to eliminate that repeater but if it doesn’t bother you then cool. in the second stanza third line a period after hats and gloves. other than that it looks nice. umm well beautiful, beautiful is a tad redundant but who cares hahaha. its rich with the season no doubt. and I like the scenery. that baby in the purple jumpsuit is darling well at least what pops into my head I like the solitude gained here and then the peace is broken by those invading hordes hahaha. parenting should come with a warning: “warning! your serenity can be broken at anytime and anywhere” it must be one heck of a job to be a parent, one I’m not willing to sign up for. I think I will be one of those who never have any children. nice write, I grew up in Alaska, so I’m no stranger to snow.

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      HEE HEE yeap thats why we thank god.
    Looks like you got the same snow I got. It was fantastic watching it fall. I stayed up all night hoping it wouldn't stop.
    I love how you write about the smell of coffee and how the kids are all happy just to see and be in the snow. Heck I even made a snowman but it took awhile because the snow was too powdery.
    We will be getting our tree tomorrow and the kids and mom will decorate and dad isn't supposed to touch anything because his hands are too big and always breaks the decorations. AH, A bane that I must suffer. Well atleast I get to eat the popcorn while they string it. HEE HEE

    Nice write and hope you are enjoying the snow.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahahahahaa! This one is really cute! I personally hate the snow and boy did we get a snow storm today! YUCK! I remember when I was young though, and we would have lots of snow and they cancelled school. It was the greatest damn thing. Now as an adult, I hate the cold and the snow. Nothing but a pain in the ass. Of course I love it when it first snows and watching it snow is relaxing but then I want it gone! haha! I dont have children so I cant relate to this one directly but it did give me a warm smile as I read it. This is darling. Nice work. Take care and stay warm!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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