[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Criss crossing through my headdots

    Author: bluesoxz
    ASL Info:    16fohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 71/101/38
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1851


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCriss crossing through my headdots

    Criss crossing through
    The empty Fragment
    Pieces of my imagination
    Only to find myself wasting
    Time and space.
    Cant stand to listen to
    The sounds of my mind
    Screaming back at me.
    Letting your hallow points
    Rest on my heart.
    Give me the attention to
    Soaked in Red thickness
    Of agony
    Begging to Become the
    Slave of humanity.
    Hanging from the thread
    Of your Seductive hand.
    I told you I wouldn't do it
    Only Forcing myself to
    Swallow the spit you gave
    Criss crossing through my
    Head to find my past
    Sitting at the edge.
    Cutting so Deep Give me
    A passion Alone bymyself
    I weep.
    I think
    My heart starts beating
    A razor To my skin
    The thoughts start to become
    Liquid in my veins something
    So easily to lose.
    So sexually amused.
    Im a whore to this mental abuse.
    Criss crossing through my
    head to find the images Starring
    back at me
    Reminded me that im not alone.
    Re-created the definition of
    You touched me in so many ways.
    How I cringe to your scent.
    Oh baby come here close So
    I can be in you again.
    My lungs Close shut.
    Let me scream from the inside.
    No one is around only the void
    That sits.
    That waits.
    That reminds you the memory
    Is still there.
    Criss crossing through my head
    To find out im non-existant to
    The human feeling
    That im Nothing more then the
    blood that drips off your wrist.
    Criss crossing through my head.

    Submitted on 2005-12-09 20:00:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is really deep
    I really liked how you used the word rape to describe someone who has stolen your inner most feelings only to just throw them away
    That my friend is Poetry
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes when we are left alone we automatically think its to die, which creates the metaphores we use to explain a since of "I would die with you." Still this poem captured an undeniable desperation that is so esaily relatable. This is what makes poetry so great. When we can admit our every weakness and ugliness and still be beautiful.

    Hanging from the thread
    of your seductive hand
    I told you I wouldn't do it

    was one of the stronger parts for me. It let the reader no pain can be a two way street, and sometimes the hurt aren't that innocent.

    cuting so deep give me
    a passion alone by myself
    I weep

    was a bit difficult to disect for me. It sounded great (read aloud), but Im not really sure what it means.

    great job

    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]