I used to cry my eyes out missing you,
misunderstanding you,
so confused,
begging you,
to undue thing you didn’t do,
untie chains never belonging to you.
I used to hoarse my voice explaining to you,
every single twist life turned me through,
every little dream that didn’t come true,
every step, every move,
every time I had to choose.
I used to brake my neck looking back for you,
slowly slowing down til’ I wouldn’t move,
listening to the tip tap of your shoes,
drum the strings of my brains loose.
I used to shade my eyes
so the sun couldn’t get through,
to afraid to share a smile
with anyone else but you,
paint the sun of my days misty blue,
stare in the night
for shooting stars just to wish of you.
I used to feel the need to cry,
because dry eyes don’t miss you,
because guilty tears can’t forget you,
because my better days were with you,
I used to.
I used to blame myself
if you couldn’t sleep at night,
my eyes wide shut anticipating the sun light,
hoping it never rained so I could do right,
then maybe everything would be alright.
I used to assure myself it was all because of me,
crack baby’s born in poverty,
still learn to believe,
why was I not somewhere
soaring above the dream,
I used to enlace myself in your forgiving honesty
end every prayer with my apologies,
mumbling words
and teary eyes repamanding me,
whispering silently
when my lips wouldn’t bare to speak.
I used to dedicate precious moments
of myself to you,
replacing situations when I glossed over you,
to afraid to sit down and hear the truth,
dying is only easier now that I can follow you.
I used to wrap my arms around you
before I left you,
and tell you I love you before I let loose,
and hold you up on a pedestal
just to cherish you,
then wait for my winds to turn around
and carry you,
and sometimes .....I still do.
|
Submission Name: I USED TO
