I enjoyed this write. To me it seems like an ordinary womans entry into a diary, or personal feeling, and its with that, that i think it holds its power. As it is something (although i do not know from experience) that many women tend to think about in a relationship. Its that connection with all the other millions of women that are in the same situation which gives this work clarity and a sense of being. Good job. Cheers.
This could be a song...haha ain't I intuitive...I know I am...but I like this...it is sad, and though I know that it is about him it is getting easier for me to see the poem for the poem and not your relationship and that really helps me appreciate it more...
Funny how being with someone you want and need can have the effect of making the world go awayand its trobles with it,nice write I really liked the line,I'll listen to your heart beat,keep tapping those keys adnil
I relly like this To me you are writing about World Peace This is a subject that is very near and Dear to my Heart I only wish the people of the World And that includes ALL the Politicians would only Open up there Eyes and see how Eay world Peace can Become Yes it is a vision But with Gods Help The World Together Can Be One God Bless Ron
I was looking at the first stanza and the last one, and I found it intresting how at first you said "The only thing I need is you" And then you replaced the need, with want. I could feel the longing, the beauty of the piece. It was nice, how you added the typical life problems, like the bills, and car troubles (lol this part made me laugh. Not sure why) job issues, etc. I did feel a tad bit like the rhyming was possibly slightly forced, but it's just my opinon that pieces that express love and nature and beauty sound better without rhymes, and I think the reason why I feel like that is because with rhyming, you sort of feel forced to say certain things, but without rhyming, you can just write freely on your feelings and wishes. Just a thought. Nice job.
good write overall. the rhythm didnt really become steady until after the first two stanzas. it was a little rocky and hung me up a couple times on the initial read. that may be something you want to address. i have no complaints with the content, its a beautiful piece with beautiful expression of love and what it is. good job.
hmmmmm, hmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah, i like it. it's very simple and very sweet, and i think that's why i like it. yes there is a subtle sadness in each word, but the poem still leaves you feeling...love. yep, i like it! oh, suggestion: maybe get rid of the periods. each line is already a complete thought, and i think the periods actually slow the reading of the poem, slow the flow (heh, i'm a poet and i know it! wow, i'm a dork). anyway, yeah, toss those periods...you don't need 'em!