[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Working With Daddots

    Author: AlabamaFarmGirl
    ASL Info:    50/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 518/333/26
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 982
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609

       Working with Dad as a teen in the meat market of big retail stores, is one of my fondness memories...Working with Dad side by side is a memory never forgotten and a picture that is implanted forever in my heart....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWorking With Daddots

    Working with Dad one would go
    A teen that would love him so
    Together working, him and I
    Marketing he taught me to try
    Striving hard we would work
    Top of the line, his would look
    Sales were high in his store
    Folks came back wanting more
    Thinking his store was really grand
    High expectations were his demand
    Nice, fresh orderly, clean and neat
    Our customers needs, for us to meet
    Have a smile for customers too
    This is why we good, at what we do
    He taught me alot about Retail
    And why we did so very well.

    Submitted on 2005-12-10 12:12:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Linda, this is an enjoyable poem, and a nice tribute to your dad, and to the moments that you spent together! I worked with my father every day when I was growing up, and am glad I did, because, after he was gone, I treasure the memories left of the work and times we spent together. When I go out to the ranch, which us kids inherited, every draw and every field has memories of some work event or work related drama that we shared there.
    | Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      how about the last line "and how to honorably close a sale? might rhyme some and reflect the integrity your Papa obviously has. Steve
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work on this one. It sounds like you and your father had a special bond. Father-daughter bond is very important. It is wonderful to hear that you have great memories of your father. I really liked the flow of this. It was very easy to the ear. Had a very smooth pase to it.

    I guess i can relate to it in a way. I never did work with my dad. But we do have a close bond. And we in a way do work together if you know what i mean. Well anywhoo a job well done.

    | Posted on 2005-12-30 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      I too have memories (fond...may be a stretch!) he he he
    I think that's great and dad's and daughters do have a special bond - I also liked in Sandra's comment about the mis-tagging!
    You surely show appreciation well and I'm sure your dad enjoyed it just as well!

    Great work ~ as always!
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      The title "working with dad" is what intrigued me to read this piece. I have fond memories of working with my dad in his store. I was about 3 years old and I remember running around like I owned the place. It was my favorite place to be. I can relate to this...

    thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Sweethonesty | [ Reply to This ]
      It's nice to go back and reminisce of the days when we worked along side Dad at the store. Good memories. Do you remember the time we put .39 cents a pound on the chickens when it was supposed to be $1.39 ?? They were selling like hotcakes..lol. And Dad, he just laughed and retagged the rest of the chickens. Thanks for the reminder. Nice poem.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great. Brought back mem'reezz about when I used to work with my dad...around the yard, up in the woods getting firewood, on the turf farm, at the sawmill...yeah...its cool learning how to work from yo pappy, ya know? Some people have great work ethics, some people have nice butts...I happen to be blessed with both, HA! (Sorry just something me and an old friend used to say sometimes, HA!) Thanks for 2 trips down memory lane today.

    More children need to learn diligent work ethics, but then again, when you take a look at what people are passing off as "fathers" these days in age...its easy to see why they dont.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely poem about some wonderful time you spent with your father. I must say reading this gave me a smile. You are very fortunate to have had this time with him and from your words I can tell that you love and appreciate him very much. This sounds like quite a nice experience that you had growing up and being able to work next to your dad this way. This poem is nicely written and expressed. I think in your third to last line 'we' should be we're? Otherwise a very heartfelt poem and the flow and rhyme here are well done. Lovely job. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      As an accomplished meat cutter these expierences cut like a hot knife in butter, the essence of success. A sharp knife will cut you less often I was told, just keep your fingers where they belong.
    Presentation is the key to all matters whether it be selling or writing, here is a nice and neat display of words for us to digest.
    In another unrelated matter, your lifes walk seems to have taken you in many fine leasurely trips into a well balanced person of high quality, that shines in your writing, and makes it so enjoyable. Always you have fine things to say, thats fantastic.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      I truly found this piece moving as a "son" , as a "father" and as a "man". Your love for your father comes through touchingly reminding me of my own father, my daughters and by correlation a freshing appreciation of men!

    I'm glad you found me so I could find you!!


    P.S. If you get time you may won't to look at "Fathers' Day"
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, thats so cool you got memories about times with your dad, i hope that when i become an adult and think of great memories with my dad, over all good write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by morriscool4 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice to see you flying the flags for Daddy's. There is always a very strong two-way bond between father and daughter, which lasts forever. Your write was very inspirational and endearing.

    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nice and easy to read, rhyme scheme good and I only see one typo...On the third to the last line I think "we" ashould be "we're" and all all will be perfect.
    Good to have fond memories such as this to hold on to hu?
    Enjoyed read'n your poem,
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a delightful read.

    My grandfather was a meat cutter so I feel close to the images.

    This is a precious snapshot bot of dad and the writer.

    Nice work!

    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good
    I also consider this very personal
    You have a deep love for your Father and I like others totally respect that
    The World would be a much better place if we as children realized how much are parents have sacrificed to make our lives better
    Parents are truefully the Right Hand Of The Lord
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I am sure your dad would love to read this. We fathers act so hard at times but we really are just big ole teddy bears that love the attention of our kids. I used to work with my father as a teen during the summers. Mostly because I had to pay him back for setting his car on fire. Darn cigarette lighters were spring loaded back then.
    That combined with cloth seats and a few A&W napkins were a good combo for a fire. I told him it was an accident but he wasn't in the forgiving mood at the time. HEE HEE
    Well I have bent your ear enough and I really liked your write.

    Respect and Admiration

    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]