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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Cannot Follow Starsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dmm
    ASL Info:    50/M/Minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 741/888/102
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1333



    Description:
       Even if you are not a Christian it seems a waste not to surrender to the beauty and wonder of the season. I chose to join in.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Cannot Follow Starsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Across the spotted desert we glimpsed them
    from afar,
    Three hoary strangers traveling, following
    a star.
    'You cannot follow stars' we cried they're fixed
    upon the sky,
    In place the day that you are born still there
    the day you die.
    'Not so' one wisened one spoke soft, few chosen
    ones can see,
    In distant sky a star that moves, we surrender
    to it's lead.

    Then lying down their weary heads, drifting
    off to sleep.
    I was left to wondering, falling into dreams
    so deep.
    I found myself among the stars looking down
    at earth,
    Listening to celestial choirs singing of
    a birth.
    That song it seemed to carry me over mountains,
    dells and bower,
    Leaving me upon my bed wide awake at
    early hour.

    Stepping out I searched the sky, lo my weary
    eyes beheld,
    A single star shining brightly, in the distance
    rang a bell.
    I understood those travelers, who now had
    taken leave,
    Forsaking all I'd known to this wisdom I
    did cleave.
    There upon the desert sand their path led
    toward that light,
    I followed unabashed with love to behold that
    wonderous sight.




    Submitted on 2005-12-10 16:40:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I decided to comment on another of your poems because I felt that my last comment was terribly lacking. Anyways this was indeed as Ron stated a very beautiful write. You use of image here was absolutely magnificent my friend and your flow and rhythm and rhyme were top notch.

    I really like the issue you wrote on here and you conveyed you message brilliantly. Indeed it is wonderous how the stars truely are and it takes things like this to remind of their importance among other things. You did a very good job here. Keep up the great work and have a blessed and wonderful day. Your friend Jason.
    | Posted on 2006-04-08 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Regardless of the different views on religion, I will unbiasedly state that this is one outstanding poem. A wonderous ending. My only suggestion is that inthe first stanza/section, you complete the quotation marks. E.g:

    " 'You cannot follow stars' we cried 'they're fixed
    upon the sky,
    In place the day that you are born still there
    the day you die.'
    'Not so' one wisened one spoke soft, 'few chosen
    ones can see,
    In distant sky a star that moves, we surrender
    to it's lead.' "


    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw... this is sweet

    Nice work Dan!

    I found myself among the stars looking down
    at earth,
    Listening to celestial choirs singing of
    a birth.

    I like the perspective of looking down on the star, very nice. It is an interesting perspective.

    Good job!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so wonderful. Just beautiful. I loved everything about this poem. It made you feel joy and awe for acknowledging the birth of Christ, at least that's what I felt. It was well written and the flow was excellent. This a fav of mine now. Happy holidays to you and yours.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      very neat poem Dan. a Christmas card in verse. love it. it's helping to put me in the Christmas spirit. although we have snow, I am not feeling very Christmasy yet. things are not going all that great but there's nothing specifically wrong or anything. just kind of not working out the way I'd planned. but I guess that's life, huh? anyway, great poem and thanks for the spirit lift!
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! this is one wonderful poem!!!

    I loved it! Very creative and inventive. You take us back to the first Christmas from the perspective of a person living at that time who encounters the three wise men.

    Very nice indeed! Great write!!!!!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful inspiring story, as we followed you to that star that will lead us to an Everlasting Light of Love! We were all strangers until we found this star. Now, the star itself has placed together kindred spirits...
    Wonderful write!
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I am speechless
    This was MAGInificent
    We oft forget the reason for the season and whatever spiritual language you speak there is "IT" and all "ITs" splendor.
    Thank you for this!@
    Love,Peace,Joy~Feel,Experience,BE~~~
    tif
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an awesome poem. I am a big time Christian and I am glad that you posted it on this website. I think, personally, that more people should read this poem because this world is going to HELL! The more involved with sin and pleasure we get, the more destruction that we'll bring upon ourselves. Overall great write.
    God Bless and Merry Christmas
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by unforgiving05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Dan, this is so nice, I really like it. I do agree with others. You donít have to Christian to see the beauty of this poem. I must say although I am not Christian I really enjoy this season a lot.

    Well done
    With love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      So cleverly written...i really enjoyed this...it flowed so easily that i almost felt as though i could nod off to sleep...it also brought lovely images and had a wonderful calmness to it...well done...stormy
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      You definatly don't have to be christian to appriciate this one...This was beautiful...I really enjoyed this one. Just everything about it fit right...the format the wording and the meaning. this is a favorites addition:)
    keep writing.
    ~Silent
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      One doesn't have to be Christian to see the beauty of this write Dan I to am adding it to my favorites it is a very powerful poem the feeling its invokes are so warm and whole so much love within that travels all the way to one's soul.
    adnil
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful
    Absolutely Beautiful
    I loved this write
    I am definately adding this to my faves
    An Outstanding Write
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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