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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twisted Sorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: _Dancing_Alone_
    ASL Info:    14/f/and...MARS.
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 91/96/36
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 361
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1305



    Description:
       this is a dream i had put into words...
    i wrote this with some thought,but not much.
    as i usually do.i dont think the title matches but i thought it would be a little more interesting to put it as the title anyway.
    & once again,tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwisted Sorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Twisted sorrow-

    a complicated simple truth,
    with the just the hint of not knowing what to do.
    the art of falling in love,
    is just a chapter of someday falling apart.

    take a fresh breath of the morning dew,
    still feels stale but always condesends to you.
    the different worlds of no hope & strong belief,
    combine in your mind & take away all faith.

    CHORUS-
    guards up,fingers crossed.
    wish your luck,while bridges burn
    lose your mind,leave hope behind.
    fly away & let hearts stray
    dreams confuse but have good use.
    dreams confuse but have good use.

    did you imagine what i was trying,
    have you done what i said & are already flying.
    my control has sunk too low,
    am i lost or am i home.

    do i awake or sleep again
    this time taking all my pain.
    different dream taking me in,
    i refuse but have no will.

    --CHORUS---

    BRIDGE :
    spinning & turning,
    am i lost? can i determine?
    choking yet frozen,
    how can i escape without leaving?
    escape a dream but not leave sleep,
    i dont want to fall back into reality....





    Submitted on 2005-12-10 17:24:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is quite interesting piece. You have some great lines here, some really interesting thoughts, like “dreams confuse but have good use.”
    I agree with marigold, it is a bit incoherent. Actually, I think that you could make two poems out of this. Try working on it.
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      nice work but then i always like your stuff anyways. "twisted sorrow has got me so lost" either a line i wrote or one of my friends i forget which... i love the 1st verse especially the part about falling in love and apart. lovely.. i think this is a fave!
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      this was amazing! it was a bit incoherant, (but dreams are like that generally) but otherwise, it was really imaginative, and the unexpected twists and turns the lines took was quite breathtaking.

    this is the second poem of yours I've read, and its just as cool!!!
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]



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