Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Giveing "it" away


Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 64
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 685
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 407



Description:


okay ppl's i'm still a virgin i just wrote that in the mind of what if. Like what if i gave it up to that person who didn't give a shit about me..maybe he did but he might've been scared of love...n e ways if i would've it would've hurt me more. But anyways i want to know what you think about this.


Giveing "it" away



momma told me neva
give "it" up before marriage
i wasn't till you came along
caught up in your kisses
even more your fake charm
you said in your arms i belong
so in your arms i stayed
until the next day
then i regretted giving "it" away
no longer pure
no longer sure
just glad when i walked out the door




Submitted on 2005-12-10 21:04:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  this write was okay. it's not as good as it could. u coulda elaborated a little bit. u just said u [censored]ed and now u feel sorry and how ur mom said keep ur legs closed. u coulda put a lil bit more
| Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  Yeah, yeah, we know, we understand. This is every girl's stereotypical feeling about the subject, blah, blah, blah. But that's just the problem...it's a "stereotype." If you're gonna write about a topic such as this, there needs to be elaborration, there needs to be personality. That doesn't mean that you need to be writing from experience persay, but it does mean that you should be writing something original.
| Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by The Imbroglio | [ Reply to This ]
  Great! Inspiring for the reader and uplifting in it's simple state. I am a fan of good messages and the truth. You nailed both, in one. Keep up the good work. Work on spelling, I stress it because it's vital in making sure the reader is led the way you wanted them to. xoxoxo
| Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by UNIQUEWOODS69 | [ Reply to This ]
  yeah, it's better to be a born-again virgin than to be the opposite. there's more girls out there who are, more than you'll ever know. and you know, your mom knows what she talking about. just keep listening. that's why God gave us parents!
| Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
  hey i like it, im glad that some one regreats loosing their "it". alot of people i know look at it as a badge of honor. but dont be too hard on your self, cause you can allwais make a pact, that your gona sortof have a new "it", and keep that for the most special some one. keep up the writing.
-phil-
| Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by morriscool4 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



84028