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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: figure 8dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 690
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 585



    Description:
       this is about 3 of my best friends combined


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfigure 8dots
    -------------------------------------------


    its a simple game of cat and mouse
    i chase you run
    no where to hide

    im lost in this house
    it use to be fun
    you were truthful , i lied

    class couldnt stop us
    we had self declared recess
    smoke some pot , snort a bump it will be ok

    you were so nervus
    but you said i knew just how to release the stress
    you listened to what ever i had to say

    summer is just around the bend
    i havnt seen you scince the last
    my best friend
    why cant my mind erase the past




    Submitted on 2005-12-11 11:01:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ok, the last line put a question mark on my head, just for the fact that there was an extra word in it, but the point did get across right away. I myself have had the same thoughts and it haunts me as it does you. It definately helps to write theses things down, because it helps to sort out the reasoning, in a sense anyway...
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      this reminds me of my school days haha, and it has good wording except for that nervous misspelling, but yea good job! i like the title too, seems to go with it.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      your mind can not erase the past that easily. ya'll two been there alot for each other. I have a friend that I feel she is not there for me anymore and I am trying to forget her, but them best times we shared is glued with me

    peace and I hope yall two there for each other long more years
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      awww. well... i shouldn't give any actual critique on this one. i'm just going to say that the sentiment expressed here is a big change from what you normally write, and i think it shows the softer, less emo, more real side of you. i might be wrong though. maybe you're really a bad-ass [censored] who doesn't give a [censored].
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job, i like the contrast "truthful; i lied", that was really kool. Overall nice one.
    blah blah blah blah blah


    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      now that's a sincere piece quite fun and reflects the true feeling of friendship and sharing within you .. a great piece of work :) keep up and keep them coming :)
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]


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