Yeah
I'll take a pair
rugged and infused
in the beat beyond
the streets
and soul thats in my feet
trbal flip flop
taking me on a wanderer's path
on behalf of the tan
of Kino's
sunk beneath the sand
Yeah
they need repair
my sol drenched
Kino's in despair.
Tan like the beat down
earth-tone trends
that have been travelling
through my treads
and head
wondering about what's
said and done
and what's begun
in the name of the rhythm
that's intrinsic of the Sun,
the moon and
the stars
and my Kino's taking me to
Duval and past the
Conch Farm
near and far.
“Nibblin' on sponge cake, watchin' the sun bake; All of those tourists covered with oil. Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing. Smell those shrimp They're beginnin' to boil.”
stanza one: oops sorry had Jimmy Buffet in my mind there for some odd reason. ok let’s see whatcha got here MR. Wester. a pair? now later in this write I believe I'll know what those are. in the 7th line you have flip flops and since I was dying to know what a Vino and a Duval is well I’ll be amazed what a few clicks of the mouse will do, I have found what I sought. first let me look on line 6 you have “thats" change to “that’s” and in line seven I see you have put “trbal” I believe you were shooting for “tribal” I like the wanderers path is a nice serene description there. on the behalf of a tan is cool, I can sense a nice day and a search for a pleasant spot. now the Kino’s sunk in the sand those are your tribal flip flops.
stanza two: it is a poem partly about sandals and the appreciation for them, it is a simple comfort but I imagine in a place of sand and heat beyond what I would be comfortable with it would be a need in life. 7th line here you have “travelling” change to “traveling” the scene here closely connected to the surrounding environment. I have learned that the Duval is a historical Victorian home there. very nicely done with understanding I appreciate a glimpse of a nice walk in another latitude well done,
English is spoken not only in Key West. If you wish a world wide audience to undestand your poem, I think you had better explain what Kino means and Duval. Kino to me is merely German for cinema.
Submission Name: Kino
well done,