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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kinodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Key Wester
    ASL Info:    20/m/Key West
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 104/143/55
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 826
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 809



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKinodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yeah
    I'll take a pair
    rugged and infused
    in the beat beyond
    the streets
    and soul thats in my feet
    trbal flip flop
    taking me on a wanderer's path
    on behalf of the tan
    of Kino's
    sunk beneath the sand

    Yeah
    they need repair
    my sol drenched
    Kino's in despair.
    Tan like the beat down
    earth-tone trends
    that have been travelling
    through my treads
    and head
    wondering about what's
    said and done
    and what's begun
    in the name of the rhythm
    that's intrinsic of the Sun,
    the moon and
    the stars
    and my Kino's taking me to
    Duval and past the
    Conch Farm
    near and far.




    Submitted on 2005-12-11 11:53:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      “Nibblin' on sponge cake,
    watchin' the sun bake;
    All of those tourists covered with oil.
    Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
    Smell those shrimp
    They're beginnin' to boil.”

    stanza one: oops sorry had Jimmy Buffet in my mind there for some odd reason. ok let’s see whatcha got here MR. Wester. a pair? now later in this write I believe I'll know what those are. in the 7th line you have flip flops and since I was dying to know what a Vino and a Duval is well I’ll be amazed what a few clicks of the mouse will do, I have found what I sought. first let me look on line 6 you have “thats" change to “that’s” and in line seven I see you have put “trbal” I believe you were shooting for “tribal” I like the wanderers path is a nice serene description there. on the behalf of a tan is cool, I can sense a nice day and a search for a pleasant spot. now the Kino’s sunk in the sand those are your tribal flip flops.

    stanza two: it is a poem partly about sandals and the appreciation for them, it is a simple comfort but I imagine in a place of sand and heat beyond what I would be comfortable with it would be a need in life. 7th line here you have “travelling” change to “traveling” the scene here closely connected to the surrounding environment. I have learned that the Duval is a historical Victorian home there. very nicely done with understanding I appreciate a glimpse of a nice walk in another latitude well done,

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      English is spoken not only in Key West. If you wish a world wide audience to undestand your poem, I think you had better explain what Kino means and Duval. Kino to me is merely German for cinema.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]


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