You grasp and abillity with rhyme is amazing. You do it with such ease it seems second nature. Do you find yourself rhyming in conversations and not realizing it? I do, and im nowhere near the rhymeing guru that you are. Very good piece. In fact i just read all of yours and I liked them alot. Your one of my favorites.
I'm going to start by saying I love rhyme. I've read a lot of poems where the rhyme is forced and is distracting and takes away from the flow of the piece. In this piece however I got through the first 7 stanzas so smoothly. The line "But it's made its mistakes" Should it be *I made my mistakes* ? If not I don't understand what you are saying there. Also, the line "You kept me in submission" could be changed to *I was kept in submission* I really don't know what to make of the last stanza. I think you could end the piece stronger. But overall, I like this piece. Nice work :) Nicely