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    dots Submission Name: *gods and men*dots

    Author: cannibal
    ASL Info:    18/f/MO usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 47/47/15
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 747

       well this is my first post on here. So let me tell you about how my poetry works. I do not write by the book i guess you can say. I write what I feel and a lot of the time it comes out in ryme. So if it is not professional enouph I am sorry.

    But any who, I wrote this one when I found out my grandfather has cancer, so it is just a bunch of thoughts. Tell me what ya think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots*gods and men*dots

    I am too tired to think
    To tired to care anymore
    And death rears his ugly head
    A massacre to be led
    Skin to be broken

    I want to remember him
    I want him to live forever
    Though that gutless god will curse My yearn
    I pray for him to be spared!
    And though he clings to life The strings will be cut

    We are all puppets on a string Puppets so willing to kneel to nothing! And though our skin burns we still believe That, that nothing will spare us of this hurt
    Feel the burn of life’s curse.
    And we are never suppose to question
    Never give a second glance To the strings dangling before us.

    Submitted on 2005-12-12 22:23:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a strange write and i am not sure if i understand what you are trying to say...it feels like there is somebody close to you that is very ill and may pass away and you feel that it is Gods fault and He is to blame...i agree we are too question and seek knowledge of self, we cannot blame God for our wrongs...sometimes it is just the way of the world we havemade for ourselves/...i feel you in this poem...Read Job in the bible and see for yourself...perhaps this may sharpen you clarity...much love!
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
    Whoa. This poem looks like you are saying that God causes or is the cause of suffering. He is not. God loves humans and would never cause them to suffer. Satan the Devil, God's enemy, creates all these problems. God has let Satan try and prove that his way of ruling the world is better than God's. Soon God will destroy Satan and make the world a paradise and people will live forever. This poem is hurtful to me because to me, the poem appears to be saying (at least to me anyways) that God causes suffering.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      you got a diffrent rhyming style and u said u did and didnt care. What kind of music u wont this to be in. ok Im going to IM u on yahoo my name is furriorsbuds.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      I am too tired to think
    To tired to care anymore

    maybe the second "tired" could be "weak" ?

    I want to remember him
    I want him to live forever

    take the second "i want" out and put "and for"

    Just a couple tips to keep the fluidness of the poetry, good write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]

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