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Author: cannibal
ASL Info:    18/f/MO usa
Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 47 /47 /15
Words: 148
Class/Type: Lyrics /Misc
Total Views: 1368
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 831


This is not perfect I know. you know what it is about, drug addiction. I wrote it when I was on some energy pills and started shaking. Yeah well tell me what ya think



This is shaking
So take it again
Hate it again
In an instant happiness will cease
You will feel the shaking at heart and Quiver with fiendish fright

So take it
So love it
And cure your burning yearn for death

So take it
And want it
Be only solid when it forms
And you will dissolve with its sweet corruption

Taste is divine
Pleasing to the lips and hateful to the Heart
Oh love the image of your demise
Oh crave that coffin
The slumber will create that perfect portal For your FAKE FREEDOM!

And love
Love it
Feel it
Fear it
Oh I know you want it
Need it
Crave it
Take it.

Submitted on 2005-12-12 22:29:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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5: Wow!


  I enjoyed this piece. Probably because I could relate, but not with energy pills. There's LOTS of others out there. It's a hard habit to kick. Anyways- It flowed pretty well & you got your thoughts across to the ones reading/reviewing them. Fav. line was:
Pleasing to the lips and hateful to the heart.
That line is extemely honest & tru when it comes to addiction. Nice read. Thanks for sharing:)
| Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Tonya V. | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very deep and emotional write
I am one who hasd been healed from drug abuse
I literally was in hell
I can tell you about some hallucinations Ive had that would cure you of drug abuse in a second
You captured the negativity that drug use brings very well
Deep and emotional write
Thank You for sharing this one
God Bless

And Thank You for the Recent comments
I really appreciate them
| Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Opposed to the comment above, I liked the fact that some of the lines were only a couple of words. Due to the fact that those words are so important and the essense of your poem. There is a sense of emptiness here which comes with drug use and abuse. I love how you have fake freedom capitalized that is so true. Good write
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by StevenJay | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a good song. I got some hiphop bumping in my head phones and it went with the beet so keep it up. but I would like to see if you write longer lines.
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
  Cool repetition and imagery. You really take the whole thought process of the drug all the way, thoroughly. Keep up the good work and welcome to eliteskills.
| Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
  ive been seeing alot of drug poems lately. this isnt bad, but i wouldve made the poem have a much thicker body instead of 2 word lines.
| Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]

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