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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drugdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cannibal
    ASL Info:    18/f/MO usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 47/47/15
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831



    Description:
       This is not perfect I know. you know what it is about, drug addiction. I wrote it when I was on some energy pills and started shaking. Yeah well tell me what ya think

    ~peace~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrugdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is shaking
    Shocking
    Enslaving
    So take it again
    Hate it again
    In an instant happiness will cease
    You will feel the shaking at heart and Quiver with fiendish fright

    So take it
    So love it
    And cure your burning yearn for death

    So take it
    And want it
    Be only solid when it forms
    And you will dissolve with its sweet corruption

    Taste is divine
    Pleasing to the lips and hateful to the Heart
    Oh love the image of your demise
    Oh crave that coffin
    The slumber will create that perfect portal For your FAKE FREEDOM!

    And love
    Love it
    Feel it
    Fear it
    Oh I know you want it
    Need it
    Crave it
    Take it.




    Submitted on 2005-12-12 22:29:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this piece. Probably because I could relate, but not with energy pills. There's LOTS of others out there. It's a hard habit to kick. Anyways- It flowed pretty well & you got your thoughts across to the ones reading/reviewing them. Fav. line was:
    Pleasing to the lips and hateful to the heart.
    That line is extemely honest & tru when it comes to addiction. Nice read. Thanks for sharing:)
    ~Tonya
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Tonya V. | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very deep and emotional write
    I am one who hasd been healed from drug abuse
    I literally was in hell
    I can tell you about some hallucinations Ive had that would cure you of drug abuse in a second
    You captured the negativity that drug use brings very well
    Deep and emotional write
    Thank You for sharing this one
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Thank You for the Recent comments
    I really appreciate them
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Opposed to the comment above, I liked the fact that some of the lines were only a couple of words. Due to the fact that those words are so important and the essense of your poem. There is a sense of emptiness here which comes with drug use and abuse. I love how you have fake freedom capitalized that is so true. Good write
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by StevenJay | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good song. I got some hiphop bumping in my head phones and it went with the beet so keep it up. but I would like to see if you write longer lines.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool repetition and imagery. You really take the whole thought process of the drug all the way, thoroughly. Keep up the good work and welcome to eliteskills.
    Amber
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
      ive been seeing alot of drug poems lately. this isnt bad, but i wouldve made the poem have a much thicker body instead of 2 word lines.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]


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