Dark watters by Rail

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Submission Name: Dark watters dots

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Author:	Rail
ASL Info:	18-m-Washinton state
Elite Ratio:	2.27 - 117/80/13
Words:	138

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	181
Average Vote:	4.0000
Bytes:	860

Description:

Dark watters dots

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I stand next to the abyss
Sometimes I’d rather not know
Ignorance is bliss
Now where do I go

I have this secret
How can I keep it
Maybe they just choose not to see
What is hidden in every leaf of a tree

Every stone
Every rocky inlet
Every flower that has grown
Every fiery sun set

In the days of old
When the planet was still cold
These things were spread east to west
And were believed, what was best

Goddesses and gods
Lived among us
We survived by beating the odds
Now the worst fear is the occasional passing bus

This is the truth
Though we are told it a lie in our youth
We need not worry bout the earth
But a time will come, a miraculous rebirth

Submitted on 2005-12-13 00:56:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is extremly good i did not now you could be quite so poetic all though you will provibly decide to beat me at work tomarrow
| Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by sammute naru | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the way you use your words! It takes a person with feeling to make such a great peace of work!
If you get a chance come read some of my stuff and tell me what you think OK? Kelley
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
  as usual, when you get to writing you real do a good job. i still wish i could write like you lol, accualy right now i wish i could write at all! im having terible writers block! anyways back to what i'm supost to be doing here! the words you use paint a picture but its still unclear what this poem is about! ummm... and did you mean to spell the title "dark watters"? is it some obscure reference to negitive electricity? you have confused me before but i think this is the most cofusing confusement. (lol) anyways good job on the interesting new poem!
mheracai
| Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty original piece which is its strength, but i feel that you could go into more descriptive detail. Every piece has it's strengths and weaknesses.
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked the last line "But a time will come, a miraculous rebirth". Something wasn't quite natural about this poem though. It seemed like you stressed in writing it. I very much agree, however.
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by feather_pen | [ Reply to This ]
  wow! this poem is intense. the imagery is awesome and the message is very true. the world is on a downward spiral and soon it will implode, not many people see that these days. all they think about is themselves. i wish more people could see what you do, maybe we could save the planet if they did.
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by nephthys | [ Reply to This ]

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