Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dancing Amid the Starsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lesh09
    ASL Info:    15/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    2.6 - 13/18/7
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 986



    Description:
       I just finished this today and whether or not i'm completly happy with it, doesn't matter this time. this was written to deal with my most recent break-up...and i feel that it expresses exactly what i intended


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDancing Amid the Starsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some words are better left unsaid
    As we lie here on this desolate mountain top
    And Iím sorry to know that youíve been misled
    But the moonís glistening radiance will never stop

    The silence has always been a fear of mine
    This was never my decision, nor my power
    For I know of the consequences, they're not of this kind
    But you well know, in face of adversities, I will not cower

    Maybe on a dark, gloomy night somewhere among the stars
    Weíll dance through the galaxies and never part
    For this night, these hours, for the moment are ours
    But take heed that once the song ends, another starts

    So, this is our last dance, and Iíve reached my destination
    Tell me all the things my heart desires, one last time
    While my eyes gaze upon these beautiful constellations
    Let me know its okay to dance, although your no longer mine

    -Alesia Morrison




    Submitted on 2005-12-13 17:56:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That was so beautiful and just plain sweet. I loved it.
    So this is our last dance, and I've reached my destination. I loved your choice of words and wow, i'm going to read your other poems. Dont stop writing, your brilliant at it.
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS SO SWEET AND VERY BEAUTIFUL.
    VERY OPTIMISTIC INDEED. THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY TO DEAL WITH A BREAK UP. AND APPLAUD YOU FOR IT. GREAT POEM!
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
      sorry ya'll i mistyped this and didn't catch it when i went over it. third line of the first verse, is "And I'm sorry to know that you've been misled" i fixed it thank you for pointing that out.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by lesh09 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautifully optomistic piece in the face of a loss. Bitter sweet tinged & elegantly worded.

    The to in the first verse set me off at first, I wasn't sure if it was needed.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by thetwilight | [ Reply to This ]
      "And Iím sorry to that youíve been misled"
    you're sorry to what?

    other than that, i found this piece wasn't bad, i really liked the last stanza. anyway, good write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84341

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry