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    dots Submission Name: Of Frozen Stars that Kill thedots

    Author: PoetPhilosopher
    ASL Info:    17. Male. Michigan.
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 6/13/4
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 954
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1910

       Tell me anything you want, the more the better though.

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    dotsOf Frozen Stars that Kill thedots

    Of frozen stars that kill the forests,
    Leaning toward a comfortable end,
    Destroy the world of a beautiful massacre,
    Directed from above down upon by godsend.
    Of a soul by cold impossible star with points of seven,
    To fall, or be thrown by, to destroy, or be destroyed,
    By words of infested heaven.
    Come now depend, come now end,
    Come now demons I wait for said and shred.
    Come now lie, come now life,
    Come now angels fight for my soul if any hope in light.
    Explosion of the world burns before the blink of an abandoned eye,
    The inferno of the planet burns to embers, crumbles and blows away before the release of a chilling sigh.
    Dark in upon the lonely night, rest my body off restless ground,
    Sleep my disturbed mind to the chants of holy sound.
    Sleep in a dream inside a dream infested with incantation of magical lore,
    Be now dead; bleed the rest of cold empty blood till you bleed no more.
    Run now blood out of quaky veins, as loss my eyes turn to the back of my head to view my poisoned brain.
    Twist and effortlessly turn to attract warm life once again,
    Awake the dreams of sleep, and starve the starving dead.
    Breathe now once more through gold rims of old symbols,
    Give thought to and remember life to feel the need of the soulless.
    Walk and blink before the ongoing miracles dead in a life of meaningful meaning,
    Bury your plant, surrounded by giving, from god Edenís seeding.
    Leaves with desperate life break the soil, feel the world of cold air owned.
    Breathe plant, be life, open to closed air, breathe world with the mind of its own.
    Hopeful life breeds and grows on and from dead old burnt meaning,
    Donít die your hopeless, starve and dry the awakened tears of crying, Ďcause youíre still bleeding.

    Submitted on 2005-12-13 20:00:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ...holy [censored]... that was amazing. you said you envied my imagry...oh my god, not in a million years. that was amazing... when i finished reading it, i found myself inches away from my computer screen. as joy said above, the only thing is maybe some breakups, but its not like its completely necissary (spelling). theres one part in the whole thing that sticks out and is totally ingenious
    "Run now blood out of quaky veins, as loss my eyes turn to the back of my head to view my poisoned brain." amazing...absolutely amazing... this is going on my favorites and i'm reading the rest of your work. your way of imagry is so much more advanced than mine. you, my friend, have a way with words...
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was interesting. The form was slightly hard to read because it wasnt broken up, but it was alright.

    I am really not a big fan of rhyming, but here you did it really well.
    It made the poem flow really well.

    I think that going through it I kind of got lost in your words, but then reading it twice it made more sense.
    It held alot of rich wording in it, not something that you can just skim over. Always a good thing to make your readers think.

    hmm, I really enjoyed reading it.
    I think that it was well written, the only advice I have is to try a different form & possibly break it up for easier reading. but, it is totally personal preference.
    nice job
    take care
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]

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