This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: PoetPhilosopher
ASL Info:    17. Male. Michigan.
Elite Ratio:    3 - 6 /13 /4
Words: 274
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 955
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1671


Anything, the more the better.


And so all falls through a blackened veil in the violet night,
To hold on enraptured upon winged backs ride.
Carrying you to where the land touches the sky.
Then all twists and storms in endless vortex,
When entering the mystic plain of legend and complex.
So when all is stormed down and the clouds tame the waves,
You seem to be falling, followed, by the stars that guide the day.
When followed by the moon turn to see,
That the very light that softens your skin,
Is the same that lathers the sea.
Fall into the earth and jet back up to the stars,
And face the light that emits whispers, and washes its crystal shards.
Then the stars and light fade,
When the nebula is stardust paved,
Trace the red form that travels through the day.
And find the sun where all is born, and all is saved.
Ride the flames that fly off its mass,
And travel through time, space and back.
Feel its miracle that burns the soul,
And land on the ice, which freezes the cold.
Feel the magic of existence, run through your blood in celebration,
For you are one of everything, from the pillars of creation.
Rest in the essence, of fire and time,
And dream of the world, that perfects kissed minds.
From all the ends that your being traveled far,
You fall back together, through one and all.
Then as mist descends and sprinkles back your breath,
Inward you breathe staring back at death.
And off he dies with a scream never heard,
And close do your eyes, and dream a life never learned.

Submitted on 2005-12-13 20:03:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Let me start with two words, "Holy SHIT!" Writing this comment will take part...nigh ALL of my cunning. Celesetial what this poem truly is. I see Day, Night and the unseen realms in this. It were as if I were Icarris flying a wax-bound wings chasing Hielos into the sunset.
Your use of color, though you stuck to the relativly basic you used it well, Blackened veil in the violet, If night was violet could you see it? No!(thats great insight) You define the nothingness with this regal color. The color of power and of many different beautifulthings. The blackness is therefore only a viel blocking out a beautiful universe. The horizon described as a vortex, is unique yet it makes sense. it is all colors combined yet, it is not a brownish amebous(spelling?) goo like all the paint colors combined. At this place of all colors what is there, why it is the place of rainbows and Auras. You chase the setting sun and the night follows. But when you look upon the plae ghostly moon(pale, not a color yet a descriptive tint) you see Luna raise the ocean tides around her holding it as smooth as silk. The light from the moon does simmer in shards(nice observation) Then it seems you have caught the sun, The atomic bomb that fuels life. the red form, the only time I have seen the sun as such was in the clear desert sky, it was beautful. Riding the plasma arms of the sun, best if done in a metophoric state mind you. has a nice feel to it. All of a sudden you stand in nothingness before the dimenson even began. Cold(0 degrees kelvin to be exact) then Flash! warmth spreads through out and you are within the fog which planets are made of. All goes black again yet the warmth does not leave you. You wake from your night-dream. Without the universe you just beheld, yet it is just beyond the next horizon. I loved the journey, thanks for letting me take it. My only suggestion, try stanzas, otherwise I feell one might lose themselves and the meaning in the depths of the universe:) Thanks for posting.
Yours Truly,
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow...that was my first impression, you mix all these emotions with space knowledge, letting everything flow, I don't even know exactly what your meter was but I loved the effect, the rythm that the poem had for me. Wonderful job...although some parts are a little hard to understand but over all beautiful write.

| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Lady Almira | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?