very good, perhaps my favourite poem on the site you are the only user on ES whose poems are literally flawless... my favourite line "the weeping leaves swollowing their pain, " dont change a word thanks and keep it up john*
ps. pls take a look at some of my poems... i like it when experts comment on my poetry, so that i can improve it... will be much appreciated
i agree with the previous comentor about the structure of the poem but all in all this was very good even though i found it a little to short because it dosn't realy give me a full sence on the overall mood of the poem. but i do like the metaphor of the piece very clever and intresting how you've shown feelings in the dead rose, i like it. thx for the read.
well this is pretty.. i mean i find a dead rose used as a metaphor to describe a sorrowful mood to be beautiful. but i think for as short the poem is you need to pay more attetion to the structure you give the poem. for example...
the picture of a dead rose so perfect, to how i feel
the colour of a dark red petal mirroring my will to live the weeping leaves swolling their pain an image of me to give
blah blah blah just a thought. young poets need insight to grow but should not change thier creative styles to suit it. so take my thoughts or leave em is all i am saying. but other wise a very pretty metaphor. take care.