She sat there all alone in the car. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, making her knuckles turn white. The car was in park. She was so scared, so, so scared. And there she was, sitting there, alone, scared, confused. She needed him, he was everything to her, but he no longer loved her. He no longer loved her. Those words hurt her more than any physical pain ever could. Her eyes, red and puffy, stared blankly out the windshield, wishing, wanting. Hoping against all hope that maybe she could make him fall back in love with her. But she knew that it was hopeless. It was cold, and she wouldn’t start the engine. She just sat there, not knowing what to do with herself. She was in no state for driving anyway. How, how could it all go to waste? How could he do this to her? She had given him everything, everything that he had ever desired. She had catered to his every wish, so in love with him, holding on to the fact that he loved her too. But never had she anticipated him stopping. Never. She trembled, shaking with anger and cold and sadness. She needed his touch, his warmth, his kisses. They had sustained her for so long, making her feel like a princess. He had given her self-esteem and confidence and love. He taught her to be herself, to like who she was. And somehow, without that support, she found herself being reduced back to that all-time low again. And so she sat there, crying in her car, with nobody to comfort her, nobody to kiss her fears away. She was no longer loved, no longer worth anything…and she allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks, mocking her every move. And she slowly put the car in drive and began down the road home…his driveway was no place for tears after all…
| I think women hold onto love much more closely than men do. It so hard for us to give up.|
No matter what happens it sounds like a lot of good things came to you from him, and that makes it so much harder because now everything positive is also wrapped up in him.
But I believe that some people come into our lives for just this purpose. He's helped you to become strong and now it's time to test your wings. Be cautious of staying in something that will hurt you and turn you bitter the longer your there.
I've been right where you are and letting go was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but it was time. And guess what? There were other loves out there..not any exactly the same...but perhaps better in their own ways.
Chin up and here's a hug.
|| Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ] |