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I pretend

Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 273
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 584
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1775


How do you stop loving someone who won't love you...but won't set you free either..?

I pretend

I get such a rush,
Such a feeling of happiness-
Of confusion and bliss.
I want to be in your arms,
To be held forever and ever.
And you hold me,
And you kiss me,
And you’re sweet and gentle with me.
But you don’t love me.
You don’t love me
And my heart breaks every second.
I lay in your arms,
You hold me close
And I feel safe, and warm,
And more comfortable than ever.
But inside,
I’m ripping myself to shreds
Knowing that I cannot have
The only thing that I truly want.
You cannot give it to me.
And I cry, silently
So that you don’t see me.
My tears leave marks on your shoulder-
They dry up before you notice.
You don’t notice
And my heart falls apart.
Wanting you so badly,
And you want me too,
But you don’t love me-
You don’t love me
Don’t I deserve to be loved?
I just want to hear it.
Or at least to just know.
But I know nothing.
I feel ashamed, and scared,
I feel utterly confused.
Laying in your arms,
Feeling your kisses,
Your gentle smiles and hugs…
And I don’t know what to do
Or what to think.
I try to pretend it all away
But the tears still come.
And I’m left feeling helpless
And so, so alone
Here, in your arms.
Knowing that no matter what I do
You just won’t love me,
You just can’t love me.
And I cry
Silent, bitter tears of loneliness,
Wishing that somehow
I could stop loving you.
What did I do to deserve this?

Submitted on 2005-12-13 21:47:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Dear Gosh,

You remind me of myself a few weeks ago. Lying there in my b/f arms wondering if he still loves me the way he used to. And a tear falls on his shoulder but before he can notice it, it dries away. To be honest, You didn't do anything to deserve it but somehow you are forcing yourself to feel that way. so in another way, you did that to yourself. I used to wonder what the hell i am doing wrong. I was doing everything a normal g/f would do and yet somehow, i didn't feel good enough about myself. You should read two pieces i wrote. one is "Today in hand" and "Time will Tell". There are a few others at the back of my head but i can't remember the titles.

There is no way out from loving someone. Honestly, no matter how people tell you. There is a saying that there is a thin line between love and hate and that is true but it does not apply to all love cases. You can try to find a reason to hate this person. That would be a nice way out but then do you really want to destroy all the beautiful memories the two of you made. Those are treasures but it is in the past. Live with that and keep moving forward. Don't pause. You'll just hurt yourself more and right now you are pausing.

Just one sentence for this piece "you are letting this happen to you". I don't think this is the way you want to feel.

Keep writing. It loosens up the tension inside.

Take care...
| Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]

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