Description: you know there are people that just love the pain that others inflict on them and they dont notice that others love them more than anytihng. they instead hurt them even more. just to boost their ego. this is for them.
After a Fall -------------------------------------------
Love. Fall.
You bother my nerves
You get on my mind
Cannot avoid you
You’re there all the time
You’ll be my doormat
And you’ll do as I say
But you don’t get it
I just want you away.
It’s perhaps my true love
But I’m so blind, my eyes so hurt
(That I can’t see it)…
It’s perhaps more than love
But my mind won’t let me assert
(And I can’t see it)…
I need you for my ego
To break down the wall
For my pride needs it
After a fall…
I’ve been rejected
But not still by you
You will not do it
You’ll take more than what’s due
I’ll come back to you
After every jolt
I’ll redeem myself
By finding your faults.
It’s perhaps my true love
But I’m so blind, my eyes so hurt
(That I can’t see it)…
It’s perhaps more than love
But my mind won’t let me assert
(And I can’t see it)…
I need you for my ego
To break down the wall
For my pride needs it
After a fall…
I can’t stop myself
Don’t wanna do it
But I get pleasure
From just ripping you apart…
I don’t quite mean it
I do really care
I feel very sorry
When I trample on you…
Cause…
I need you for my ego
To break down the wall
For my pride needs it
After a fall…
I keep wondering myself how can you just take any difficult emotional topic and simply make it fly. Very careful observations, smart statements and full authenticism.
It might be a bit too direct at times, but it works. I simply got a big kick from this one. I love when writings do such thing to me.
ah sorry it took me so long to comment on this one. a lovely little peice you have here. reminds me of this song by boxcar racer. anyways l-o-v-e-d the first couple lines. a play on words makes everything so much more interesting and unique. its one of my favorite things to do. "you get on my mind" sounds so neat, for lack of a better word. and your line about the doormat made me really think of a person being a doormat to someone else. they just sit back through seasons and rain and the color tends to fade away. and often they become filled with dirt and covered in leaves, to where they cant even see that this person is wiping their feet on them. i think i might have to steal that visual. and that really has nothing to do with this poem so, let me get back on track. when you think about this, its like the person is trying to make themselves sound better.... saying they're sorry, when clearly they get pleasure from hurting this person. i like it, the thought of some guy just using someone else for his ego is seen a lot, unfortunently. i hope this isnt from your point of view. anyways, this is a good write -steph
This was quite amusing because it was very honest coming from the "villain's" point of view. I found it refreshing and justifying. By the way, who are those metal dudes in the pic? I'm from California and was just wondering. I love metal and rock. I listen to everything and esp. love the Beatles. Have you ever heard of Elliott Smith? He's my hero even though he died in 2003. Maybe this guy isn't a villain because he seems to have a conscious, a villain never feels bad for being bad. Are you going soft on us or something? (:>) xo lilham
Generally sound here Zu dude. When did you post this? Just wondering because of the no comments thing.
The only thing that felt out of place was the "jolt/fault" rhyme in the 4th stanza down because of the short sounds and just that "jolt" is a bad word to rhyme with, lol, sorry. I do like the chorus though, AND I think it can be improved, hows:
"For my pride always needs it, Whenever I fall, I need you for my ego, To break down the wall"
I don't know, seems slightly better to me. But apart from that I can't really see much room for improvements. As said, a sound write, and I'm gonna post my write now, I'm bored, lol.
Submission Name: After a Fall
