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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tomb of the Unknowndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aruemos
    ASL Info:    27/M/Detroit
    Elite Ratio:    7.35 - 103/79/40
    Words: 322
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1370
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1891



    Description:
       I hope you like it. Thanks for comments. I realize it is a bit rough.
    Yours Truly,
    Argos


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTomb of the Unknowndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hold before my face an aegis of anonymity.
    No mortal can strike me down, or push me out.
    This is my right as an Vagabond, as an unknown.

    But am I, whom have brought the world all its great pillars and monuments, forsoke to be unsung?

    Nunca, NEVER!! I say it booming, and bold.
    Rise my Brethren, Rise and launch our boundless quest.

    I look now to all the nameless and unseen, the unsought and the forgotten. You are wanted.

    Veil yourselves least they herald our march onward. Yet they will never percieve...

    The ones of little minds and even less words come to wrench them down, from histories pedistal so aloft.

    Pull them down, do it now, so we might rend their statues and their mausoluems.

    With that stone we will build a place, a Tomb of the Unknown. Our visions shall persist as long as the days shall toll.

    Forget the yellow cowards, forget the grim red heros, Forget grey castles build to blue sky, Forget the golden sun and thoughts of dieties.

    Worship white marble, sacrafice to grey stone, Read the black lines in its title, as our great monolith grows.

    When I die, cut my throat and collect the blood, when dry place my flesh on the priar, collect my ashes.

    Use both to make the mortar for the cornerstone. Take my bones and boil; use the glue to bind our new constitution.

    Remember not who I was, or what my true words may have been. All should see meaning with no images.

    When all is complete. Lift your Aegis on high. And cry out, "They have watched for the giants, only be to eaten by the ants."
    "WE HAVE LEARNED THE LESSONS AND CHOOSE TO FORGO THE NAMES!!"

    One last up rising, then we shall all be judged the same.




    Submitted on 2005-12-13 22:45:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful work. I am imaging this as a uprising in some magestic empire like an ancient incan society. And it is being told from the perspective of A gallant working class type speaking to a massive group of people, calling them to rebel for they have been treated terrible at the hands of this rule. Was a truly beautiful piece capturing the spirit of rebellion and adding some some mystical elements to make it far mor interesting than the average read.

    When I die, cut my throat and collect the blood, when dry place my flesh on the priar, collect my ashes.

    Use both to make the mortar for the cornerstone. Take my bones and boil; use the glue to bind our new constitution.

    Amazing lines. Basically shows the deterimination of this person that they would let their dead body be used to help build this government, and would easily die for the cause.


    And cry out, "They have watched for the giants, only to eaten by the ants."

    Although that is my favorite part of the poem. I have always related to the underdog, and that is a very beutiful way of putting it. I can imagine these crowds of people finally liberated screaming that out.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Visionary | [ Reply to This ]
      hey,

    somehow a picture of the past long long ago came to mind. I don't know why. I like your words, although a bit freaked out by those sentences:

    "When I die, cut my throat and collect the blood, when dry place my flesh on the priar, collect my ashes. "

    This reminded me a lot of a movie i've seen of people actually cutting up the throat and getting everything of the inside just to collect the skin to fill it up with some sinful soul. Anyhow, i've seen how what you tried to describe and that just freaked me out. I don't really like remembering that image.

    But i like the idea behind the tombs of the unknown and especially when you said :

    "They have watched for the giants, only to be eaten by the ants."

    This reminded me of a sentence my mom always says:

    "Do not be afraid of the insects you eat but of the insects that eat you"

    I liked the symbolism behind this piece. It brought a lot of images in my head.

    My overall thoughts on this is that although i don't really agree with this kind of format but then i am thinking "Different strokes for different folks" I am not going to emphasise too much on it. I think it is good just the way it is. Somehow i do not believe, you had to capitalize the sentence before the last one. That didn't make much sense although lessons is what we got to remember. Still, i didn't find much use for it from my point of view.

    Anyhow, thanks for sharing. I enjoyed this piece very much.

    Take care...
    Irina
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      The backbone of society are those who are not named. They work without notice but create without knowing.
    This a tribute to those who labor to build and those who win the wars for generals of fame.

    Reminds me of building a megastructure and the men who have died become part of the structures foundation.

    Your wording is outstanding here. I can visualize a setting in the dark age by how you have placed your words.
    I also feel that there is a timelessness for those unknown.
    History is filled with those nameless people who have no voice. Your words even ring true today.

    I could only wish to write in this manner. True talent emits from your write

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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