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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Thoughts Of A Dying Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 314
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1851



    Description:
       This is a poem I wrote awhile go. Go head and comment, I love hearing how I cna improve my writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Thoughts Of A Dying Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    welcome you to this life of confusion
    Born into a world of hatred
    Living a angry painful life
    Saying things that shouldnít be said
    Hiding feelings that should be shown
    Dreaming of happiness
    Tired of crying over stupid things
    Hoping that someone is listening
    Running into Problems everywhere
    Facing Troubles everyday
    Wondering why people would want to hurt me
    Making enemies every time I turn my back
    Sick of loving people that I cant have
    Watching people suffer
    I'm suffocating
    Stuck inside this bubble
    Lost and deprived of anything that really matters
    Lives have been Ruin
    Pain has been delivered
    Anger is all around
    Trying to forget
    Forgetting that I once Loved
    Helping people for nothing
    Receiving Hatred
    Giving all I can
    Do you see what is happening?
    Do you see what youíre doing to me?
    I canít handle this life much longer
    I'm sick of people putting me down
    I despise this hatred
    Wishing that one day you'll see me
    Knowing that I'm alone doesnít hurt
    Knowing that you hate me hurts more
    Time might change things
    Hoping that one-day everything will be ok
    Sick of everything
    One-day peace will come my way
    I am not going to let you get to me
    My feeling have been shattered to many times
    I donít really care anymore
    Why do you hurt me so much?
    Why is it me that you bug?
    Donít you see that youíre hurting me?
    Itís done already
    I canít change the Past
    I can only wish that the future will be different
    Sorry for the things that Iíve done
    Fuck it




    Submitted on 2005-12-14 11:41:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It sounds very depressing, if that is the type of writing that you enjoy. :-) Very deep & Nice. I enjoyed it, although, have you made the attemption to look at the happier note of things?
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by AmazingForever | [ Reply to This ]
      This is awesome! For some reason, it reminds me of a Stephen King story. The first short story from the book "Everything's eventual."

    I don't think there's many similarities between your work and his, but the basic idea of it all just reminds me of it.

    That's great :-D
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by KasPeR88 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with eveyrhting "Epiphany" said. Especially with the lack of puncuation part, I enjoy doing that in some of my poems. I'de also like to add that I feel like I've been there before.
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by sinister_always | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    Great poem. I like how even though it doesn't have a distinct flow, in the background one seems to devolp in a way. If you get at all what I mean.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes life can leave you feeling dead inside and this piece shows the echo of loneliness and tired expectation. I liked the lack of punctuation and it was a little hollow feeling which actually helps the theme of the piece, I believe, in this instance.
    You can't change the past but you have the now to do with whatever you want.
    Love,Peace,JOY~Feel,Experience,BE!
    tif
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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