Description: This poem is a double piece, part rhyming, part non rhyming. For starters, I finally have someone who actually asks me to write for them- which is so very nice, to have a reader who appreciates me so very close. What I did here was take two pieces and jam em together to make one piece. Always trying new things like that, and I like how this one came out.
Comments are most appreciated.
From me to you, and me to me. -------------------------------------------
Sweet thing, you can't relieve, regress
To back and now when all your stress
Was and is hard every hour.
You can't and couldn't find the power
To overcome...
But that's OK;
I loved and love you anyway
For who you are and who you were;
Your strength and your empowerer.
Your echo and your harmony
That records and stores the memory
Of every laugh and laughing..
While you treat me as your king.
Every touching and caressing
Is blessed to me and is a blessing.
How lovely is it brothers?
When you find
A treasure who
Resets your mind?
Makes you feel nice and young again?
Gives you butterflys again?
When you've been dead so very long.
Someone you can clique with..
Someone you look good together with...
Someone who actually cares
About YOUR best interests?
This is a very good poem. It is so wonderful when you find someone who can make you feel this way. When you find someone who inspires you and makes you feel so good. Someone who appreciates you and cares about you instead of being all wrapped up in their own selfishness. I like the two styles combined here I think they go well together. This poem really expresses feelings well and I enjoyed reading it. Nice work. Take care.
AWWW...what i liked about this was the hopefulness of it all.
i have a musician friend, and his record label always gets on him to write a happy song, so that what i call pieces like this...that moment when you find something that you have been waiting on...
but its nice to see the other sides view especially to someone who hasnt yet turned their page...
I can almost hear the joyfullness stampeding from your words. Isn't it amazing how love can make us feel a touch of invincibility?
In this piece, I noticed how you take the reader in and let them share in your happiness, even if for just through the write. I also think that the small lines between the stanza's are a great add, and I wouldn't change a thing. This truly broadcasts your love in the way it should be viewed. A blessing.
Awweee. Q's in love. How cute. :D Lovely peice, and I've really missed your writing, Q. You need to write more often! Everyone else is outpacing you. :P Again it's a beautiful peice, I wish I could feel that sort of acceptance sometime. Everyone I meet is a little too self-involved. o.O ~Sicobe R. Crow
The feeling of acceptance and love is one of the best feelings in the world. Its also great to feel wanted and needed. Obviously this person plays a gigantic part in your life and your poem really shows it. I love how it was put together!
I really LOVED this piece. Very original and well thought through. I have to be honest - I never usually enjoy poems where they are too loved up - I like angry work! haha. However, I truely enjoyed this, I think you captured your feelings perfectly in a genuine, non-soppy way. A definite thumbs up from me! Sugar x
It's nice you have someone to share with and like you said, to have them be interested in what you have to offer I liked this piece and felt it flowed well and I liked, "How lovely is it brothers? When you find A treasure who Resets your mind?" That's a tight thought and expression! Great! Love,Peace,Joy~Feel,Experience,BE! tif
i like this! im glad u found someone special that u can share ur life with! otha ppl havent been lucky enough to etheir find it or hold on to it! this is a fav in my book! good joB! ~akaila evonne~ imma read more of ur stuff!
Submission Name: From me to you, and me to me.
