Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: That Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sugar
    ASL Info:    23/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.43 - 84/63/9
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1110
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 514



    Description:
       JUST FOR FUN


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Six inches from the floor
    She takes the walk of shame
    With kick-ass boots
    And a film star name

    With nerves of steel
    And fishnet tights
    She’ll have the world at her feet
    And her name in lights

    The boys all love her
    She’s the devils creation
    Her blood red lips
    Are a cruel temptation

    As she struts on by
    Not a hair in place
    She’ll torment your thoughts
    With her smiling face




    Submitted on 2005-12-14 15:50:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      interesting. hmmmmmmmmm, is she a whore? is she a stripper? she seems so "cool" on the outside, confident even in her strutting, but when we first see her she is feeling shame. nice contrast. intersting.
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't see it.
    This girl was kick-ass, mine was more of the doomed type. More like she was someone who doctors, and so on, told her she wouldn't live that long, disease or something, and she just didn't think it was worth making her body last.
    And then the review how other people might live a shorter lifespan but are preparing for a long life.
    I think this poem ended too soon, like you could'be added more on. If this was just for fun then it isn't like it had the need in it to be short. It had nice rhyming and vocabulary in it. The flow was good, but again ended abruptly.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was excellent. The structure, theme and the wording and rhyme was flawless.

    It just flowed along and was so easy and very enjoyable to read - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      haha i like this, it reminds me of how i saw girls after every one of my relationships ended. haha very well done

    - kase
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. It is so beautiful and the imagery is so powerful yet wonderful. This is a great poem, your an amazing writer. This is so going in my fav's.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww man I love this. I love how you can just see her struting through the halls, boys falling at her feet, shes popping her gum and looking at them like their idiots, thinking shes all that. I love it and the rhymings awesome too!
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by asianprincess06 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84473

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sadistic lust written by jjd
    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    burning confusion written by cornonthekob
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    rimbaudian reverie written by CrypticBard
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    X written by homeless
    Revised written by Darkwarrior
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    trish trillion written by Daniel Barlow
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    I Believed written by homeless
    I Wonder If written by Wolfwatching
    Untitled - 12/12/2017 written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry