Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: That Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sugar
    ASL Info:    23/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.43 - 84/63/9
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 905
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 514



    Description:
       JUST FOR FUN


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Six inches from the floor
    She takes the walk of shame
    With kick-ass boots
    And a film star name

    With nerves of steel
    And fishnet tights
    She’ll have the world at her feet
    And her name in lights

    The boys all love her
    She’s the devils creation
    Her blood red lips
    Are a cruel temptation

    As she struts on by
    Not a hair in place
    She’ll torment your thoughts
    With her smiling face




    Submitted on 2005-12-14 15:50:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      interesting. hmmmmmmmmm, is she a whore? is she a stripper? she seems so "cool" on the outside, confident even in her strutting, but when we first see her she is feeling shame. nice contrast. intersting.
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't see it.
    This girl was kick-ass, mine was more of the doomed type. More like she was someone who doctors, and so on, told her she wouldn't live that long, disease or something, and she just didn't think it was worth making her body last.
    And then the review how other people might live a shorter lifespan but are preparing for a long life.
    I think this poem ended too soon, like you could'be added more on. If this was just for fun then it isn't like it had the need in it to be short. It had nice rhyming and vocabulary in it. The flow was good, but again ended abruptly.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was excellent. The structure, theme and the wording and rhyme was flawless.

    It just flowed along and was so easy and very enjoyable to read - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      haha i like this, it reminds me of how i saw girls after every one of my relationships ended. haha very well done

    - kase
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. It is so beautiful and the imagery is so powerful yet wonderful. This is a great poem, your an amazing writer. This is so going in my fav's.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww man I love this. I love how you can just see her struting through the halls, boys falling at her feet, shes popping her gum and looking at them like their idiots, thinking shes all that. I love it and the rhymings awesome too!
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by asianprincess06 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84473

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry