interesting. hmmmmmmmmm, is she a whore? is she a stripper? she seems so "cool" on the outside, confident even in her strutting, but when we first see her she is feeling shame. nice contrast. intersting.
I don't see it. This girl was kick-ass, mine was more of the doomed type. More like she was someone who doctors, and so on, told her she wouldn't live that long, disease or something, and she just didn't think it was worth making her body last. And then the review how other people might live a shorter lifespan but are preparing for a long life. I think this poem ended too soon, like you could'be added more on. If this was just for fun then it isn't like it had the need in it to be short. It had nice rhyming and vocabulary in it. The flow was good, but again ended abruptly.
Aww man I love this. I love how you can just see her struting through the halls, boys falling at her feet, shes popping her gum and looking at them like their idiots, thinking shes all that. I love it and the rhymings awesome too!