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    dots Submission Name: That Girldots

    Author: Sugar
    ASL Info:    23/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.43 - 84/63/9
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 514


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    dotsThat Girldots

    Six inches from the floor
    She takes the walk of shame
    With kick-ass boots
    And a film star name

    With nerves of steel
    And fishnet tights
    She’ll have the world at her feet
    And her name in lights

    The boys all love her
    She’s the devils creation
    Her blood red lips
    Are a cruel temptation

    As she struts on by
    Not a hair in place
    She’ll torment your thoughts
    With her smiling face

    Submitted on 2005-12-14 15:50:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      interesting. hmmmmmmmmm, is she a whore? is she a stripper? she seems so "cool" on the outside, confident even in her strutting, but when we first see her she is feeling shame. nice contrast. intersting.
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't see it.
    This girl was kick-ass, mine was more of the doomed type. More like she was someone who doctors, and so on, told her she wouldn't live that long, disease or something, and she just didn't think it was worth making her body last.
    And then the review how other people might live a shorter lifespan but are preparing for a long life.
    I think this poem ended too soon, like you could'be added more on. If this was just for fun then it isn't like it had the need in it to be short. It had nice rhyming and vocabulary in it. The flow was good, but again ended abruptly.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was excellent. The structure, theme and the wording and rhyme was flawless.

    It just flowed along and was so easy and very enjoyable to read - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      haha i like this, it reminds me of how i saw girls after every one of my relationships ended. haha very well done

    - kase
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. It is so beautiful and the imagery is so powerful yet wonderful. This is a great poem, your an amazing writer. This is so going in my fav's.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww man I love this. I love how you can just see her struting through the halls, boys falling at her feet, shes popping her gum and looking at them like their idiots, thinking shes all that. I love it and the rhymings awesome too!
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by asianprincess06 | [ Reply to This ]

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