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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Last Rain Showerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 547



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Last Rain Showerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rain begets rain:
    bullets meet flesh
    as blood sullies land.
    The victim's mother weeps
    in December sleet
    as she recalls earlier words
    their exclamation points
    cutting her son to shreds.
    Now they lacerate her heart;
    she wondered what would happen
    if everyone in the world
    opened their eye taps at once.
    Would we wash the blood away?
    Would we drown or learn to swim?
    Because only the willfully blind
    think the flood ended with Noah.




    Submitted on 2005-12-14 21:10:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Some say war is is hell! I agrea with these people! A loss of someone close can break your heart. Your poem makes me think there is hope in this world after all. Thanks!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      this is truly poignant. my image is not so much of war but of gangs and mindless killing of our youth. i like the colors this poem ignites - even shoots - in front of my eyes, bursts of bright red, and then i am relieved with the watercolor of tears always the maternal archetype heals with hers... miriam
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by mgnola | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is poignant, no other word for it fits. many of your writes do fit this idea. The use of punctuation to emulate bullets and rain for blood, that's really interesting.

    It makes me want to know the understory of the mother and son, hmmm don't the exclaimations look like nails in hands?
    Or is your that just where my mind is going? Did the fall set up a struggle that was never really valid?

    And the controversy, and human strife, it's never stopped.
    Beautiful job Amy I think I could look at this one again.

    I wish you a season of love,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      this is brilliant Amy. your images are so sharp
    and cutting,. i am kind of speechless on this
    one. i've come back and read it quite a few times,
    and it leaves its mark.. it's powerful, and your
    last lines pack the punch.

    i'm surprised you haven't gotten many comments
    on this.. it's a stunner.

    much love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy,

    Wow... this is intense.

    I am very moved by it. Nicely done.

    I wonder about the
    cutting her son down to size
    line.

    It stands out from the rest as a bit cliché.


    Nicely done.

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Bloody hell.
    Wow.
    Speechless. I love it. I especially loved the line
    "because only the willfully blind
    think the flood ended with Noah"
    Which is incredibly well written. I struggle to find anything wrong.
    Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by TristesseDurera | [ Reply to This ]
      Words can't describe what this made me feel inside.
    I like the idea of talking about a victim's mother in the December sleet. I can't imagine what Jade's parents and Chris's parents are going through during this holiday season.
    Or J.B.'s family.
    This just really made me think about life and all that has happened. I don't really know much else to say about it. It was unique and great all in one.
    Favorite.

    <3
    Bethany
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems to be an anti-war piece.. one many of us can relate to at this point in time I'm sure. There isn't much more to say but this was a wonderful write and this was a very unique way of expressing your feelings:

    because only the willfully blind
    think the flood ended with Noah
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by thetwilight | [ Reply to This ]


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