Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Nutrient Called Faithdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1005
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       Zen, my friend, zen.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Nutrient Called Faithdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She squeezed stones;
    people called her an idiot.
    She squeezed turnips too;
    they scoffed and scoffed
    until she crushed a rock
    to powder in her dainty hand
    as it disintegrated
    an idea rose like a vapor
    in her misunderstood mind,
    a thought that bore fruits
    of happiness and wealth.
    Now they squeezed stones and turnips
    until arthritis seized their hands
    but she had the secret ingredient--
    a nutrient called faith,
    and she snickered
    until her face looked
    like a mountie's jacket,
    but she only clapped with one hand.




    Submitted on 2005-12-14 23:03:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice, until I got to the 'mountie's jacket'. I don't get that. Why'd she clap with one hand?
    But the previous lines were interesting.
    | Posted on 2006-01-23 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this poem is awesomn, it was interesting different, meaningfull. i enjoyed this alot.
    the starting and the ending were both perfect, and pretty much thruought the whole poem too haha.
    i just really liked it, havent read a good poem like this for awhile, this unique and well put, so im going to go read your other work.
    thankyou
    char
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by ohgpanic | [ Reply to This ]
      i found this poem really interesting. i like the comparisons u make, like with ideas and vapors. it was a unique way to show the power faith can have. i found it also illustrates how society takes after trends that they had even looked down on before. it was, overall, a really good theme that one can not accomplish their goals without faith. i'm not sure if there's anything u could do to improve it. i really like it how it is and think that changing it around might take away from the meaning.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by failed_love | [ Reply to This ]
      For myself, faith is a terribly loaded word. One I actually have tattooed on my right arm along with "heart" and "skill". Religous connatations aside (I for one don't have any) I think it's one of the most important (and potentialy dangerous) things in the world.

    All skill resides within the assumption of its possibility but without the others you can find any task to be very daunting. You can toss a glass of water at a rock, shrug, and say "Well that did nothing" then turn and find yourself before a great canyon.

    The single hand clapping line at the end made me laugh heartily. It was a simple thing that at a glance could be seen as cliché but explodes in a rain of ember-like possibilities with a thought.

    Jason The [censored]
    | Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by Jason The Basta | [ Reply to This ]
      That was powerful and juicy and brain feedingly wonderful. I loved it and it has tantilised me. Faith is wonderful :)

    Cheers hun
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      That was insainly powerful thinking, I mean wow... I don't know what to say it is so good. I guess like my friend her, Mieko I shall add it to my Favs list. Back to the point though I don't know what I'd change... maybe not anything, or maybe something so big it's not obvious who knows. Anyway awesome write. THNX

    - Nammy
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with everything about this write
    I for one believe that ones Belief in A higher Power can carry them to all there Dreams
    For Me
    It was God
    But no matter what others beliefs are
    They can still find happiness
    In Faith
    Excellently Worded
    Loved This
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      what a wonderful story of pain and suffering being overcome by faith and perseverance...the one hand line caught me way off guard and made me think about all those kung fu movies i y=used to whatch were the teacher will say osomething of the like if a tree falls in the forest and no-one is there to hear it does it make a sound?...this was beautiful...thank you, i would like to know what it means to you!
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem. I like how you have described the powers of faith in this poem. The compare and contrast of her and the people who didnt have faith is very good. It really shows how powerful it is just to believe. This is very inspiring to read and makes quite a good statement with its message here. Funny how faith cant be seen or touched, only felt from within yet so very powerful to the inner and outer existance of one's self. It is all in how you perceive things and if you have a strong faith, it changes a potentially negative view into hope. Very good write. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes faith is all it takes to move on. Faith is all it takes to reach a goal you are wanting. I believe hypocritical people that don't believe in faith but want the same rewards that faith offers are the worst.
    I like this because it's showing that fact. The flow was really well and I also enjoyed the ending. How she snickered at them for not knowing her nutrient called faith. :) Good job sis.
    <3
    Bethany
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohhh inspiring!
    I liked the end, where she didn't stop squeezing those stones, and how the power of faith is strongly displayed.
    I just read your journal about your grannies cancer, and in a way, it seemed connected... with the whole faith thing, and fighting cancer...
    Have faith, things will work out.
    -Andrya
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      I do not know if there was humor intended in this poem, but I caught a slight bit of it. Especially when they were squeezing rocks and turnips and got arthritis.

    Great Write!
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by thetwilight | [ Reply to This ]
      ...That's really interesting.
    Saying what power one has when one truely believes.
    ...In fact, you know what? It's too cool for me to not read again, later. So it's going in my favorites--also known as bookmarks.

    Thanks for sharing.
    -Mi
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    84524

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bre-anna written by Daniel Barlow
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry