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    dots Submission Name: whendots

    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 892

       I wrote this today. I don't know if it's any good.
    I used a lot of the same wording from my other poems.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    when time stands still
    when a new day dawns
    when we become one
    when what is lost is found
    when we run to the sea
    when tomorrow is today
    when you and I meet
    when spirit becomes flesh
    when our hearts sing
    when I remember you
    when you remember me
    when temptation is no more
    when we are free to see
    when passion is never ending
    when you become you
    when I can become me
    when we learn to fly, so high
    when we find a true friend
    when we are not afraid to die
    when we fight to the end
    when nothing else matters
    when the truth stands beside us
    when lies stand under our feet
    when fear is not even a word
    when tomorrow becomes today
    when only love from up above
    Leads our way

    Submitted on 2005-12-14 23:50:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hi, funny most of the time this does not work, but you made it work, good job. tom
    | Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really well written
    This write flowed beautifully
    And to end this write with God being the only one who did not get a when
    That was PERFECT
    Great Write
    I loved this
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree. It was very well crafted and stood out from the start to the end. I enjoyed reading it. Your structure and flow made it a very easy and a very good read.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i liked it but i don't really know y.. i mean there isn't a whole lotta rhyme or anything to it.. everyone has there own unique way of writing though.. and i like urs.. keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by soul full | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful piece of writing , very flowing and very well structured. gets the person's vision thinking of the images you gave , very impressive , i enjoyed it :)
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]

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